2 weeks after—Sending tips in hindsight.

So I’ve seen the rule of thumb that any vendor who owns their own business doesn’t necessarily need a tip unless it’s above and beyond. Therefore, I don’t plan on tipping my DJ (tbh he doesn’t deserve it anyway), photographer, or hairstylist.

My venue had a staff of probably 20+ people working my wedding, I didn’t actually meet many of them, and I didn’t know what all their roles were (cooking, serving, setup, bartending, etc). I didn’t have a tip set aside the day of, because I wanted to wait until I could objectively assess everything. Our venue event coordinator was an absolute rockstar, and everything went perfectly. I do want to send her a thank you note with a $100 tip (I know that’s probably super cheap, but I’m afraid we can’t afford more).

However, I don’t know how I go about tipping other venue staff? Is it expected? They host about 12 weddings every year, and it’s pretty much all hands on deck for every event, idk if that makes a difference. 20% of the total venue cost is exorbitant and we cannot afford it. What should I do? I don’t want to seem ungrateful.