Establishment of paternity / child support nightmare Illinois/ Iowa

It's been a year since my step son came to live with us permanently. My husband and I have tried to figure out the legal issues. But, to explain the whole situation is a long story. So I'll try to keep it short, as there's so much more drama to our story. We are trying to deal with Iowa and Illinois courts to settle this issue.

We'll call the bio mother X. To make things easier and to keep names private.

It all started long ago. With X braking into my home and causing me enough anxiety to kill an elephant. But that's another chapter of our story. So we will start with when X was caught in the ER high on Meth. X was talking irrationally about things that aren't even there and how the whole world is out to get her. It was a real life don't do drugs moment. She was living homelessly with my step son. Then came the phone call from the hospital. I answered and spoke to the staff who asked if she was mentally unstable. As I've known her for most of my life. It wasn't a hard question to answer. Yes she is but she's also an addict. She tested positive for drug usage. Which helped explain her mental state. Yet, there seemed to be more of mental illness to it then just drug usage. She's also quite violent. As she just assaulted my husband a few months before. Something she felt she had the right to do. As she was the one who committed DV in most of her relationships. Which included when X was with my husband years ago.

We had the social worker come though. Whom planed to put my step son in foster care. But changed her mind due to my husband being already established by Iowa as the father. It did assist her decision, when she saw how clean and neat our home life was. We don't partake in that lifestyle X had going on. As we called ourself nerds but happily married. It was what my step son craved. To stay here were we didn't have many friends visiting us. Only a few close friends. We didn't have parties with strangers passing through like X did. It was calm and peaceful. He found his happy place, a safe haven. He felt safety and warmth living with his dad. I was all to happy to give him the love he deserved. Plus his half siblings are all close to his age. So he felt safety with them.

After looking though X's record and meeting her. The worker came back. Told us how X was speaking to them almost as if she was out of body. It was a very uncomfortable experience for the worker. Then the worker leveled with us. That X has stated to have no intentions of putting down the pipe, nor getting mental health established. They pressed child abuse charges against X. Therefore X will no longer have the rights of a custodial parent. Nor will they ever give my stepson back to X. My husband was given paperwork stating that he is now been given temporary custodial parentage rights.

Next came court. Order of protection, as my husband and step son were assaulted by X. Also trying to get an Illinois judge to recognize my husband as a father. With the establishment of paternity order. Aside from my step son being signed up for school for the first time in his life and getting all medical necessities taken care of. As he had never seen a doctor since the day he was born. We had a very busy year.

My step son has graduated to the next grade. I got him caught up on his medical needs. Now he's enjoying his summer break.

As my husband has gone to court multiple times throughout the past year. X never showed up. Now here Illinois if the other party refuses to go to court. It only helps the case. But then there's Iowa who refuses to hand over any court documents. Even though it's the fathers legal rights to have it. Their lies the problem. Proving the establishment of parentage.

Meanwhile X is still cashing out the child support and getting high on the street. In and out of jail. Refusing to work or make a better life for herself.

Iowa child support can't do much even though we have evidence we have our son here at home, enrolled in school, and medical records showing our address.

This is a rare case. As Iowa does not reverse child support back to the parent with the child. They also refused to end it without her in court. Child Support is mostly used to going after fathers. With no laws to help the custodial fathers. They don't have many cases of fathers who are up to date on payments and raising their own children. Let alone have the child who is supposed to be getting supported by the money. That is being given to the mother. Yet with the child living in the father's home only.

Illinois judge wants my husband to go after X for child support to end Iowa child support. Since Iowa child support won't even suspend the case.

Any advice on how to deal with this mess is welcomed. As fathers have rights too. Children should be supported properly and thier rights deserve to be respected and protected by law. Instead they only help the mother not the child themselves.