I'm on a break with my fiancee, After infedelity

Im currently somewhat in a 8 year relationship. We have 2 kids together, 5 and 3. We were suppose to get married this month but had to postpone it cause of illness I suffered and not knowing when I would be healed. She claims the illness wasn't the cause, but she kissed another man while I was getting better in all of this. We had somewhat of an argument, she told people the next day she thought it was over but didn't voice it out any more than that to me after the argument. I thought everything was fine. Heres kind of how everything went down in order from the infidelity to us getting in the break now.

1. -She told me when the other guys partner slipped (someone I knew) and feared I would know its her who was involved. She claimed she wanted the relationship to work, regretted it. Worked hard towards the relationship and me. She also was invested and suggested we do couples therapy to save our relationship, her idea.
2. -She got pregnant shortly after with me, We recently got the abortion. The abortion was emotionally very hard on her. But I feel like shes brushing off the impact it has on our relationship. We didn't find out about it until recently cause she was pregnant and still had heavy bleeding 3-4 weeks in. Wasn't like she skipped her periods, but the second one never really came.
3. -When the other guys girlfriend found out (Around two weeks after I did)(Also, after the last time we had intimate relations), she harassed my girlfriend. They were close friends and she was an employee of my girlfriend. She caused chaos with other employees, left the company in a very busy week, told people that are mutual friends that shes a **** and untrustable, etc etc. This made my girlfriend go in somewhat depression, felt like a monster and my girlfriend did a very big shift in her life
4. -At that point my girlfriend became close friends ironically with her employees. They are all younger people, no kids, very different morals and what not. Most live at their parents, dont take relationships seriously, have mentioned recently doing stupid things like cheating on partners, loving being single and free and constantly seeing people, one of them is a swinger, etc. Most of my girlfriends friends are parents and not super close, so she mostly talked to them on messenger and rarely saw them, but now is fully invested in these friends and constantly wanting to see them. It feels weird to me, cause most of them knew each other, referred them, all do part time and have careers, and now my girlfriend gets along with them at work and she told them all her troubles, so shes invested in hanging out with them very often. All her employees saw what the other girl wrote in the work group chats and stuff, One of them offered moral support and a few of them came over to visit. I was at home and listened to it all. I overheard one of the girls say "If she keeps harassing you, you should sleep with her boyfriend and record it, that will shut her up" while I was in the same room. When they left, I expressed how I felt, which didnt go well cause it created a long lasting issue with me giving the appearance of being "controlling" and "judging her friends' (Ok yes, I know I am heavily judging them). One of the employees is also a guy, who offers alot of support to her, knows about our relationship issues prior to this etc. I've also overheard them talking and he cracks intense jokes with her, says he has a "huge genitals" and girls love it, stuff like that, That really made me uncomfortable with their friendship. (I went to clean a house as I am on medical leave with nothing to do and she needed help cause it was a busy day. I overheard them talking cleaning on the same floor while I was upstairs. Apparently, they all crack these kind of jokes sometimes and its normal).
5. -Shortly after being made out to be a monster and getting support/advice from tons of people, She suddenly took the stance of "you pushed me to cheat, i was unhappy". She also then down the line took the fact I was slowly rebuilding trust and had a hard time with stuff like the guy she works with and her friends as, I dont trust her, I think shes a **** and untrustable etc.
6. -She then started saying, I dont like you, I know I love you but I dont feel love. She commited abit to staying and working on the relationship, but constantly brought it up.

She now pushed for a break, saying that she cant get over the resentment of recently of me thinking shes a **** and untrustable. Even if I said thats not what I think or whatever, Thats what she thinks. She says shes been wanting a break for a while now but thought it wasnt fair for me, but now she needs it. She thinks if she leaves, She will miss me and the love will come back. She says we do this 1 month, one person leaves the house and other stays with the kids. We avoid eachother, no talking at all. We just respect eachother as if we were in a relationship, no making new friends with opposite gender, doing things you wouldnt do like in a relationship, etc.

I feel trapped, hopeless, and conflicted. I chose to forgive and rebuild after the cheating, but I feel like I’m being emotionally punished for trying. I feel like she’s already halfway out while I’m holding onto hope that might destroy me. She says maybe after the break we’ll get back together—but also constantly reminds me she doesn’t love me. I feel like I can’t live like this, but I also don’t want to give up on our family. She has shown love for me multiple times and is the one who pushed for us to be together after her mistake. I feel like she made it in a way that what she did was wrong and pushed for us to stay together, only to destroy me once again. I still am off work on medical leave, one of our cars is broken and the part is back order for months. We share a car, she needs it for work. We have no public transport and Im stuck at home. I am getting better from my illness, at night I go out, do activities like kickboxing, weightlifting, running, but I still dont have medical clearance to work. I breath dust or pollen, alergies and I have somewhat severe symptoms breathing. Doctors dont want me to work just yet. I am an electrician, so it could be dangerous. I don't even know if I can go back to my career. All my friends moved on and are hard to contact as I have been unavailable for 8months.

I feel like this break is all her and I dont really want it. I feel like now I'm roped in, I dont want to give up. For her she doesnt love me, she doesnt hurt, Infact, with me she never wanted to do much, and now shes all for doing things alone or with her new friends. She is focused alot on her beauty more than ever and enjoying life. While I am here depressed, I feel like I am holding on cause she wants this and thinks its the way, and I'm scared in 1 month I will be destroyed. I feel like I need to just give up on this all and move out and rebuild right now. But I ideally am at the point where I want this family and worked past alot of these things.

I feel like this break is all her and I dont really want it. I feel like now I'm roped in, I dont want to give up.

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