AITK for bringing up my bf’s father in a heated discussion about men?

I(22F) recently got into a heated argument with my boyfriend (he/him), and I want to know if I was in the wrong for how I expressed myself.

For context, we were talking about men in general. I said that "most men are shit" — not literally every single one, but as a general statement from my experiences and frustrations. My bf didn’t agree and said "not everyone is shit." On which i myself agree with but he still felt I was generalizing and invalidating.

One example we discussed was how men in India pee everywhere — which most of us know is true. I pointed this out as an example of how undisciplined men can be compared to women (who generally only do it when there’s no other choice). My bf immediately defended men by saying that women also do it, and that he personally doesn’t do it, so he felt justified in defending men.

I kept trying to clarify that I wasn’t calling him specifically undisciplined, but rather pointing out a widespread behavior pattern in society. Still, he refused to accept it. This sort of thing happens in almost every discussion we have about men — he never agrees with the facts or examples I bring up, and it always turns into an argument.

The thing is, whenever he brings up facts about women — for example, if he talks about certain problematic behaviors, or toxic traits, or how some women also make bad choices — I always agree without any hesitation. I accept those points fully and try to see the bigger picture. I’ve never felt the need to blindly defend women just because I’m a woman. I believe in accountability on both sides.

However, he never seems to extend that same openness toward facts about men. Instead of acknowledging or accepting the widespread problems or harmful patterns among men, he instantly defends them, usually saying things like "not all men," or "I don’t do that," which completely shifts the focus from the issue at hand. I have never understood why he does this, and it honestly feels like he refuses to engage in a genuine, honest discussion when it comes to men.

It got to a point where I felt extremely frustrated. I felt he was always defending men just because he doesn’t personally do those things, and ignoring the broader point I was making.

In that heated moment, I intentionally brought up his father as an example. He has often talked badly about his father to me and never really shared anything good about him. Yet, as soon as I mentioned his father, he started defending him, saying things like, “ he made good choices.” I personally feel that going to therapy because of someone outweighs them having made a few good choices.

When I brought up his father, I meant it more as figurative speech to illustrate my point about men, not as a personal attack. I genuinely didn’t mean it to be disrespectful, and I told him clearly that I was speaking figuratively before.

But he got very hurt and said I disrespected his father and crossed a line, and that I don’t have the right to do so. I feel like I do, though, because no facts were convincing enough for him — so I used a personal example, one he himself had shared with me. I repeatedly told him that it wasn’t an insult, but rather an example of how men can fail, meant to highlight the point rather than degrade him or his father personally.

At the end of the argument, he suggested that we “not talk at all for now.”

This behavior of his — denying or refusing to accept the bad things that men do, even when presented with real facts — has made me seriously question his way of thinking. It makes me want to rethink our relationship as a whole.

So, Reddit: AITA for bringing up his father as an example in this argument about men? Or was I justified in using something he himself had shared with me before to make my point?