Advice on how to get my wife to openly ask for help (not drugs or alcohol)

Starting off wife and I already have communication problems and we are going to therapy for that and other things. She just blew up on me yesterday saying that I don’t help her which I asked for her to clarify she said she shouldn’t have to tell me that I should just know. We stonewalled each other until bed time where it continued and she says that she shouldn’t have to ask me for help that I should just do it. Finally I got out of her that she wanted the sheets washed because it has been like 3 weeks and she washes them every 3-4 weeks. To note, she does not do laundry I do. I’m basically a SAHD and I WFH 40hrs a week. Back to it, well I told her all this could have been avoided if we just talked about things that needed done or if she needs help with the little house chores she has. She just double downed on that I should just know what needs done. Fight is not resolved because I told her I don’t have time to wash the sheets as I have important meetings and work to get done. It’s like all she wants to do is go to work and come home and not have to do anything, while I’m stuck at working, taking care of kids, dogs(need 2 walks a day), cleaning/picking up inside house, and taking care of outside of house. I just don’t know how to get her to sit with me and talk this out instead of holding it in and blowing up on me that I SHOULD JUST KNOW AND SHE SHOULDNT HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP.

Tl;dr why is it card for my wife to ask for help