[QCrit] Upmarket, The Revision Time, 80k, 3rd attempt
Hi all - I keep striking out with queries for my story about 3 female friends. I tweaked again for this 3rd attempt below and linked to my 2nd attempt (which got 1 note of positive feedback - but agents don't seem to agree.) Discouraged! Idk if they think it's nothing new? I think it would be good book club fodder because it talks about women's choices. It's told with humor which I hoped to convey with the tone of the letter. I've lost all perspective so thank you.
Dear Agent TBA.
Sabine lives in denial that she’s anything like the local competitive moms in her tony Los Angeles enclave, shunning their racism against the high-achieving Asian kids, and mocking their fixation on debutante programs and pseudo-volunteer trips abroad. She also took pride in being the steady rock at her TV talk show job. But when her husband cheats, her attempts to push down the pain and proceed like all is normal don’t cut it. “Sabine the Rock” begins to crumble. She turns to drunken nights and a dalliance with a hot paramedic and neglects her teens. She must, for once, take control of her life or she could lose both her kids and her career. Sabine turns to her longtime friends for support, but suddenly their lives have gone awry too.
Silicon Valley tech star Paris, who carefully orchestrated her life including a very logical choice of husband, learns that said husband has grown weary of playing second fiddle and has taken a feel-good job across the country. Then, her mother becomes severely ill on Christmas Eve, of all the inconvenient times. Paris either needs to get her husband back in line, or move to be with him, but how when she is the one with the high-paying job, twins to manage, and an ailing mom? Meanwhile, people-pleaser Alicia, who loves family life with her fun-loving husband, struggles when he falls into deep despair over his lengthy unemployment. She needs to rescue him from it before his anger morphs into dangerous hate.
The three women viewed their friendship as a tonic that allowed them to transport back to a simpler time. But now it must adapt if it is to survive – because silly banter and nostalgia are not enough.
THE REVISION TIME is an 80k-word commercial fiction manuscript about three flawed women, similar to Lian Dolan’s The Sweeney Sisters and Kate Quinn’s The Briar. Told in intertwining storylines by the lead character Sabine, it explores the myth of choice and how dreams are often abandoned for the safety of the familiar. There’s laughter, tears, and a hopeful and memorable resolution.
My book of comic essays, Is That The Shirt You’re Wearing? (Tidal Press) was a semifinalist for the 2018 Thurber Prize for Humor. My columns have appeared in The Washington Post, The Sun, and Working Mother Magazine, among others*.* I have a master's degree in writing and work in the television industry.
MY 2ND ATTEMPT LINK HERE:
Posted Jul 2, 2025, 10:32 PM UTC