AITA? I put a dent in the trash can, but our kid is fat so clearly I’m the AH

AITA?

My spouse and I have been at odds for some time in how to raise kids. We both are highly reactive individuals who are working on our self control issues.

The other day, my son (12) called our daughter (7) a BigBack. Immediately our 7yo starts crying. Our 12yo is a bit pudgy, but not concerning for his age. Our 7yo is lean. That said both are sensitive and need protected. As a parent, what to do? I explain to my son that his comments are not kind and that he can’t say that to his sister. My husband EXPLODES and tells my son, “news flash son, you’re fat!.” I lost it. I said a few choice words and removed myself from the situation. I couldn’t believe it. I just don’t understand teaching your child not to be a bully all while being the bully.

After I removed myself, I was throwing my adult rage filled temper tantrum (no words) and kicked our trash can, denting it.

The next day my husband found the dented trash can and accessed me of not caring about our belongings. He then explained that it was $150 and I didn’t value our things. I went mute. Everything in me wanted to go back to Rageland and explain that he needed to value our children the same way before accusing me of damaging our trash can. My rage is building against him and I have no patience for his behavior any longer. But am AITA for denying our trash?