I think my (30M) ex girlfriend (28F) who I dated for 8 months was a gold digger and is targeting a new man. I am looking for advice on how to handle this situation?

Hey everyone,

8 months ago, I (30M) met my girlfriend (28F) through an online dating app, let’s call her Amy. Amy and I immediately hit it off. Texting all day every day from the second we woke up to the second we fell asleep. We clicked so well that we set up a date within a week of matching. Just a casual dinner.

Everything about it was perfect. We couldn’t stop talking in person, and even called eachother from our cars while we drove home because we couldn’t get enough of eachother. Amy became my girlfriend about a week after that, and we began telling eachother we loved eachother within another week.

Amy had mentioned one thing she wanted me to be aware of - she had a prior marriage which she was settling a divorce for. She said it was a drunk mistake with someone while she was on a trip, so I said it’s ok things happen. Just finalize the divorce and nothing will change.

She kept telling me that she was able to file for divorce in a few months after we started dating (she gave me some reason for it but I I didn’t think much of it). Shortly after we because an official thing, Amy began telling me how she wanted to get married and have kids together. We were really hitting it off so I kind of said “ya one day for sure, let’s get a few years first” to which she kept insisting she wanted to be married and have kids within the next 12 months.

Over our relationship she got a few gifts from me including a $1.5k couch, a $500 appliance, a $1k patio set, a trip together, flowers every week, and a few other smaller items. I also frequently looked after her dog at my house when she needed to go on a trip with friends or for work.

One of these trips included a trip with one of her friends where she went to stay with a “family friend” in the states. There she mentioned there was a guy there who was being flirty with her but I don’t need to worry because she shut him down. She’s a good looking girl so I wasn’t surprised

One day while I was at her place I found a receipt from an airport which was different than where she said she was supposed to travel to on a separate trip... it was the same place she had visited with her friend. She said she dosent know whose that is and sort of brushed it off. Being stupid I believed her that it was just a random piece of trash found somewhere around her place. Guess you believe stupid things when you love someone.

Relationship goes on, and the divorce timeline comes up. The whole time she was telling me her ex husband is insane, she had to block him on everything, and is just an all around terrible person, but she does have to give him some of his things back. As she files for divorce she tells me he randomly showed up to her house one day to get his stuff back. Believing what she said, I made sure she was ok to which she replied she needs a bit of space because seeing him brought bad memories back from the abuse, but she will be ok. We set the terms for us taking a break including that we are still exclusive to one another, we still love eachother, but she just needs time alone. She then tells me she is going to remove me from her social media as she does not want to be obsessive with where I am or what I’m doing. Ok no worries, do what you need to feel better.

2 months pass, and we stay in regular contact. We reassure eachother we’re not seeing anyone else, we talk about our days, we even send sexual messages from time to time. We make plans to see eachother this coming weekend finally as well, as she mentioned she was at a cottage with her friends the week before. Me getting excited to see her, I decide to look her up on Facebook. There she is tagged at a cottage, but by the mom of the guy she told me she was getting hit on by a few months before. She was at a cottage with him and his entire family. Turns out they have been seeing eachother for months, well before her and I decided to take a “break”. This includes when she flew to see him while I watched her dog…twice. The family appears to be extremely wealthy as well, and it began to click to me that I’m also well off for myself and she might be targeting these types of people.

I don’t know what to do right now. I feel like I was lied to for the course of the entire relationship and I fell in love with someone who was not real. Right after I called her out on it she blocked me on all social media, just like she mentioned she did with her “ex husband”….likely because she is worried I will message her new partner. She very likely has now been telling her new partner that I’m the crazy ex who she needed to block everywhere. Thinking back on it she mentioned to me she was in a casual talking phase relationship right before we met, which she said to me her new partner “knew she was talking to someone before they officially got together” which our relationship was much more than that…we were talking about getting married within the year and how many kids we were going to have together. I have a feeling those other casual talking phase relationships were much more serious than she told me, and she very well may have been still together with them while she was with me.

Again, I don’t know what I’m looking for here. I just want to let it out. I feel like I’ve gone crazy and that the last 8 months of my life have been a lie. I feel like I had a life planned with someone who was not real. I don’t even know what to do about this or how to handle the situation or my emotions.

TL;DR I guess - the girl I was dating for the last 8 months was cheating on me regularly with at least one other person I know of, and had lied to me about the entire relationship and I really don’t know what to do to get over this