Sometimes I think I live in an alternate reality from some parents.

I have been thinking about this lately, I am currently 3 weeks post op after getting sterilized as a 25 year old woman. Due to have more free time on my hands lately and less academic course load, I’ve been reading more, hanging out with my friends more and in general being on Reddit more. I usually am not on Reddit much outside of the summer, so I’ve been discovering many subreddits. Now I say this because I passionately pursued my goal to become sterilized young. I’ve never been on birth control, never have been pregnant or had a pregnancy scare because I didn’t want any of that.

So when I stumble across a post in a subreddit where someone is talking about how they have multiple kids but don’t feel like their family will be complete until they have a certain amount more, or how there’s people who post about being heartbroken their partners (usually husbands) don’t want another kid and are trying to have babies so bad I am just like are we in this same world? I cannot relate whatsoever, like I am completely and utterly like why? Although I guess those on the other side can also say the same for me?

For some context, I am a preschool teacher, and I work a lot with kids. I love infants the most, I know unpopular opinion haha. I find once they turn 2, I struggle to really enjoy them much lol. I do get along with kids of all ages well, but infants will always be the best for me. So I get how having kids can be lovely when well intentioned etc. At the end of the day, if two people have kids and do it right, I don’t see much wrong in it, unfortunately this isn’t how it always goes.

Does anyone see this stuff and question what reality they’re in? Like how can someone so badly want what I am actively trying to avoid, especially something that you can’t really even predict how it can potentially go. I have a coworker who’s currently pregnant with her “last” kid (5th one for her) and she’s already mourning it and even considering being a surrogate just to experience it again? It’s like they say it’s so hard but they rarely stop at one. I know a parent at my job who has expressed she never wanted to be a mother but she compromised for her husband (she’s a bubbly lady but terrible parent) and now she’s pregnant again with her second. How do you do it twice, if you don’t enjoy it? Also are those “motherhood” hormones that strong?

Also what is it with people romanticizing pregnancy, motherhood and parenting? I know these things can be fulfilling for the right people, but this isn’t always the case. I mean the world we live in is proof of that enough, so much hurt, and many of it goes back to parents. Why do people delude themselves to thinking everything will be perfect when it’s not true? I mean like the mother who has a child who was born with a disability didn’t think it would happen to them either. Just something I thought about and wanted to see if others here have thought about this.

PS: this post isn’t to say some parents aren’t emotionally mature to understand that some people are childfree, it’s just most of the time that’s not the case. I thankfully have met some parents who get why people want to be childfree and even encourage it.