The Call (Modern fantasy, 2200 words)

Critique My Story Excerpt

PROLOGUE:

Once upon a time, there was once a siren. She was born, long... long ago. She grew up in the ocean, always watching the clouds and sky. Her favorites were the stars. So beautiful, yet so far away.

One day, she sings to the moon. She doesn't understand why, she just does. The moon is full and she... she just sings. Unfortunately, she caused a little boat to crash and sink. The siren swims to see what happened, coming across a man that... doesn't seem to be okay. She sings to him. He passes, and as he does, a part of her is different. A part of her is forever changed.

Unknown to her, as she was giving him his last peaceful moments, she absorbs some of his memories.

Walking on the earth. Basking in the sun without being wet. Other people. Love. The siren is very curious after this.

About 50 years later, the siren is finally brave enough to venture out. As she does, something else... someone else... is already out there.

A young man, a scholar, was out -- celebrating his acceptance into a very prestigious university. In his home country of Korea, only 1 out of 10 people got into this school. He considers himself a scientist and knowing he got into this school makes that fact true.

He's drunk, stumbling through the forest. A short cut back home, which shouldn't be much farther now. Something is wrong. He feels it before he sees it. The sudden chill in the air. The wind blowing the trees in a way that says warning. There's an unnatural fog now, at his ankles. His heart is pounding in his chest but he's almost home. He knows that.

Then there's a jerk, a growl-- suddenly there are fangs in his neck, sucking his blood. The vampire that's drinking his blood drops him to the ground after a few seconds, scowl on his face.

"Too bitter."

What happens next is older than time itself. The scholar, thrashing around-- screaming, crying, begging and making unintelligible sounds needs help. He's feeling a burning all over his entire body. Every single cell, every single molecule... being rewritten. It's raw. He's dying? No. He's changing.

That the same time, the siren emerges from the water. She hears quiet the commotion. A scream, then the birds flying out of the trees. The siren, still naked, is determined to find the source. So she walks, and comes across a man becoming a vampire. His body, spasming in pain. She had never seen such a sight. She drops to her knees and she sings. Everyone feels better when she sings. Hopefully, she's giving him a final peaceful moment.

She sings three notes. One for breath, which suddenly makes his shallow breathing deepen. One for stillness, which makes his spasms slow. One more note, hoping to truly heal him.

Suddenly, he stills. Not healed, but not dead either. Eyes open, he stares at the angle who saved him.

"Am I dead?" He asks simply.

"No..." she tilts her head, staring at his newly harden skin, "something older."

The two never leave each other's side after that. ~ ~ ~ Almost 200 years later, in the 1970s, the vampire and the siren have found themselves in New Orleans. The two love to play with humans, so its no wonder they've relocated for the time being.

One night, they heard somethihg. A something both of them have grown to love. Human music. The night was sticky and warm, and as the pair turned a corner-- they felt her power before they saw her.

A witch.

Sitting next to an old dog is a beautiful young woman, in her early to mid 20s. She's strumming an instrument, one the two weren't familiar with.

"Whatcha playing?" The siren asks simply.

The witch looks up, eyebrows lifting, face full of surprise. The witch has seen these two before. But only...

"Am I dreaming?"

The two exchange glances, but both giggle. "Don't think so," another friendly giggle. "Your instrument?"

"A banjo," the witch smiles now to. They definitely aren't dreaming.

After this point, the pair becomes a trio. The witch units them all in a way the two didn't know was possible.

For the first time in over three centuries, the vampire can finally walk in the sun. The spell the witch crafted was something delicate and older than their powers. Shared between three heart beats, underneath the full moons light... The witch would have never pulled this off without the willingness of the other two. A song from the siren, as she plays the exact banjo the witch was during their first meeting. A truth from the vampire, about how cursed he truly felt. And a tear from the witch.

It didn't cure the vampire, but... it tricked the sun to act with mercy. To act with the moon's grace. It was enough. He nearly kissed the witch for it. ~ ~ ~ Now we are in the present. Times are not ancient any longer. They are modern, fast, and with instant gratification.

Milo is going on a late night snack run. After going AFK on his online multiplayer, telling his friends he'd be right back, he heads to the nearest gas station.

His apartment wasn't on the best side of town but that's fine. It was still his. He worked hard for all the things he had in his life. Milo has never had much, as he grew up in and out of foster care and homes. He was a "good" kid. A quiet kid. There were kids who had it way worse. Often, Milo got over looked. So now, when the twenty-three year old wants something, he gets it.

What he wants more than anything now is a sweet treat and a drink. He walks, not even fifteen minutes away from his apartment, to get exactly that.

It's on the way home that tragedy stuck. And, well, to put it plainly: he was struck. Literally. A drunk driver appears out of no where, and disappears just as quick. Milo's head makes a sickening crack against the pavement.

But then, all of a sudden, he was back on the game. Eating his cookies because.. oh, yeah, when that guy hit me with his car it spilt everywhere. When I dropped it.

2 weeks later, around midnight, when the full moon was at its highest...

Milo had been feeling funng all day. Sure, after he got hit... the sudden strength, that was funny. The fact that his glasses made his vision worse, that was funniest. But today was the weirdest he's felt since everything’s happened.

He's on the game with his boys, as always.

They're winning, then suddenly-- his hands seize on the controller, his character reacting on screen by jerking, kneeling, jumping. His nails-- his claws, slice through the controller disconnecting him from the game entirely. Teeth grind as they change and grow. He smells dirt, bone, dust. He smells something ancient.

On discord he hears: "Milo, bro, you good?"

They hear a howl, then Milo leaves the discord call. He -- Milo, the boy -- is gone. In place is Milo the wolf.

The wolf tears up the boy's apartment, the apartment he worked so hard for. He breaks a window and jumps.

Then he runs. Far, far away.

CHAPTER ONE:

The lead singer of this band is electric. This band is very well known but it's all because of the face of the band-- her. She is alluring.

Milo, at first, when he saw that this band was doing a show nearby, was nervous. He had never been to a concert. Sure, he had seen movies in the theater. But never a live performance like this. Too many people, all in one place. He didn't think he'd have fun, but something deep inside of him was telling to go. That he needed to be there.

He's standing in front of a stage now. How, when, why...? How did he get this close? When did this happen? Why is he so close? The lead singer is reaching out. Milo reaches too. Their fingertips brush against each other's.

Suddenly, everyone else isn't there. Its just him and her. She's looking deeply into his eyes and she likes what she sees. It's like she's singing for him and him only. The two are lost in each other's eyes. Her song does not falter. It doesn't crack. It only gets stronger.

Aerin knows she needs to look away. Truthfully, she can't. There is something inside of Milo. Maybe he doesn't even know what, or why... but he can't take his eyes off of her either. Then she finally pulls her hand away, walking to the other side of the stage. Milo stands there still, inside the venue. Mentally he is far, far away.

The song still plays in his mind. Then.. there's earth. Fur. Milo runs on feet that aren't his feet anymore. Four huge paws are bounding against the forrest floor. Milo, the wolf now, is chasing something. He doesn't know what but with every gallop he's getting closer. The full moon hangs in the sky. He stops, just to take a pause, and to howl up at the moon. He keeps running, paws pounding as if they were hooves.

The wolf arrives in a clearing, that ends on the edge of a cliff. A huge tree hangs over the edge, 50 year old roots even emerging through the rock and back in. He is distracted for a moment, rolling himself in the grass. Sniffing the flowers, the wolf is having a peaceful moment for himself. Probably the most peaceful moment he's had while in his wolf form. His attention is brought back again. He lifts his head, tilts it, then slowly creeps towards the edge of the clearing. The wolf looks down and gulps. Licking his chops, his too-human eyes study the scene below him.

300 yards from the bottom, it was a beautiful place. The ocean's waves crashed against the rock below. The wolf hesitates. He wants to leave, turn around and run. He stops looking down and starts looking out. Truly studying the sea. The moon so full, calls. Another howl is building, starting as a grumble, then... stopping as soon as his eyes land on her. In the water, back facing... a person. Blinking, the wolf focuses harder. Yup. Definitely a person. Red hair... pale flesh. She almost glows underneath the moonlight. The wolf is sitting now, twitching to jump into the water. Yet, he doesn't. The moon calls louder than her song. Realizing, she's singing.. the reason he came to this place to begin with.

Completely unbothered, the siren sings her song to the moon. Asking for its blessings, showing her gratitude for the life she lives. The siren continues, having only entered the water moments ago. She feels her entire soul replenishing. Without her water, the siren grows weak. In her "old" age, she tends to wander. Being pulled... by the full moon? The water? Both. Did she even finish tonights show?

She has lived through so much. Seen so much. It was much easier to escape into the water centuries ago. Now she has an image to uphold. She just had to go and get herself famous, didn't she? She really couldn't help herself.

It really started in the 1920s. It was easy to sneak into a speakeasy. Sure they're hidden, but the siren always has her ways. She joined the stage, beloved by everyone. She quickly convinced everyone, men and women alike, that she's always been there, even though that night was her first time seeing any of those faces. During this time, she truly loved being in the limelight. She also discovered she loved performing with a team. To tell the complete truth, this is the time the siren fell in love with humans, too. She had a respect -- that used to be fear -- she never thought she could have.

Her companion, he did not approve of this life style. However, he eventually came around and started joining her. This is when the siren officially adopted the vampire as her brother.

The two have been traveling together for over two centuries now, but this is the first time he ever joined her on her expeditions to play with the humans. Always at night, of course. Rumors spread quickly of his beauty. The siren just giggles, always claiming that good genes run in the family. They are twins, after all. Everyone believes her. They always do.

So when people start going missing, no one questions it. The vampire, stronger than he's ever been -- uses a new power he didn't know he had. Compulsion. He makes them all forget they were ever there. Then the pair relocate to their favorite place where others could be found. The first night back, the siren wanders into the same spot she is now.

In the present day, the siren had stopped singing. She was just running her fingers through her hair, reminscing, thinking. Also... she feels a pair of eyes on her back. Turning, she expects to see her witch, an individual the pair picked up in New Orleans in the 70s. At first, her vampire would be the one watching her nightly dips. As the siren and the witch got closer, they started visiting instead.

What the siren wasn't expecting... she made eye contact with a wolf. Laying down, just watching her.

Posted Jul 4, 2025, 1:18 AM UTC

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