One last thing

My mind screamed, “she’s important to you.” I was watching you eat crackers across the room. There was someone standing in front of me, distracting me from you. The truth? At the time, I was hoping it would make you jealous. I wanted a reaction out of you sometimes. (I promise I no longer try to do that anymore) A reaction made me think you cared. I was broken then, unaware of the havoc I was causing in the process… I’m sorry. I should’ve just talked to you, but I didn’t even think that was a possibility with all the barriers, obstacles, and consequences. (Sometimes it still scares me)

I have done nothing to prove to you that I'm here and I will always be here for you. I've told you through an app but I lack vulnerability in person. I don't know if you want that and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Everything I thought I knew before you - was just false advertising. You are the one that made who I am today, a better version of myself. I’m still a work in progress much like the beginning of a rough draft sketch that’s waiting to be turned into art, into a masterpiece.

This is me and I cannot be me without you so I’ll hold you in my mind, for now.