Trans in the middle east, feeling isolated and left behind

lil vent because I’m getting tired of carrying this over my head all the time, I’m still questioning sometimes but I’m probably just trans in denial. anyways, I’m tired. I’m lonely, I’m depressed, I’m not okay. I cry, i don’t leave the house, i dread exiting, i hate myself most of the time, i hate my society all the time.

Best case scenario for me is to leave my country one day. But that would take me minimum 5 years. I would be almost 30 by that time if not more. I’m dreading it. It’s not fun. It’s not a good journey. It’s a terrible experience. I think about giving up more than succeeding. That is all. I hate my life.