I feel so out of control with my life

I’m 18 male and have struggled with binge eating my whole life. Ever since I was a little kid, eating was the thing that my parents/ family would reward me with. Anytime I did something good it was always “eat eat eat”, and I started eating until uncomfortably full starting at just 7 years old. By age 10 I was already significantly overweight. Good news is around age 16 I took my health more seriously and finally reached a healthy weight, but of course now everything is starting to switch around on me because I never took care of my mental health and now I’m bingeing over and over again from depression and the void I’m trying to fill in myself with something I don’t even know what’s wrong. Why can’t I stop? I have no control over myself and Ive gained 15 pounds in just a month of bingeing I’m seriously having a nervous breakdown because I don’t want to keep gaining weight and get heavy again. It’s like it’s my destined fate and I can’t even control myself from it happening. My doctor won’t give me Wegovy or anything to curb my appetite, all he gave me was Vyvanse and of course that isn’t working. I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’m crashing and burning it feels like.