I hate when people talk about BPD and make you feel like your trauma doesn't matter

So pretty much, my mom has BPD (or claims she has it) and is very narcissistic. I don't know if it's because of her disorder or if it's an entirely different thing, but I hate seeing posts on social media platforms that are like "People with BPD don't mean to be abusive, they can't help it!" And they act like the people that are affected by it don't also matter. I've had to live with the gaslighting and the guilt tripping and the verbal outbursts and the manipulation since I was born, and yet all I ever see is "Don't blame the person with the disorder" but I can blame her because she's the entire reason for my trauma. Like I get it to a point, but also I'd really like it if people stopped acting like the people with BPD are the only ones that matter in the scenario. I was and still am a child, I didn't understand what BPD was at the time, and now that I do it doesn't even make a difference. Hell, I almost don't wonder if my mom lied about having BPD just to manipulate me and my siblings further, because she's never gotten therapy for treatment for it and never once actually told us what BPD was, I had to look it up for myself. She knows she's traumatized me, and yet she still plays the victim. So no, I won't feel sorry for her, and no, I won't apologize for making her realize what she did to me.