Unsure scenario

Hi to all our community members. I just want to share my experience and hear your thoughts.

Me and B2B has been engaged for months and we're planning our wedding next year.

We're together for 9 years na and I feel like it's time for us to level up since I believe we're both ready mentally and financially. Prior to this, I planned to propose last year pa, pero I still think she isn't ready yet last time. This is because her family, as in all of her family, is so problematic - most of them walang work or financially challenged. Even her mother, grandmother, cousins, nephews and nieces palagi talaga umaasa sa kanya. Maybe not all pero alam mo yung sya nagpprovide ng tirahan, baon at kung ano pa. Minsan nagsisinungaling pa para lang makahuthot. Pinag usapan namin ito and she assured me na ipprioritize nya ang family namin if ever nga ikakasal kami. I trusted her naman kaya andito kami ngayon sa planning stage. However, along the way sa stage na ito, tinuturuan ko na din talaga sya maging financially responsible for herself na din. Sinasabi ko palagi na hindi masama magbigay, basta may savings sya para sa sarili nya. Pero sa lahat ng mga paalala oo, wala talaga syang nagagawa at kapag nanghihingi ang family members nya ng pang basketball, shoppee, diaper, even baon sa school ng mga pamangkin nya, talagang bigay ng bigay.

She was supposed to go to a vacation next week pero baka hindi daw sya makapunta kasi nagtitipid sya. Pero wala eh, talagang bigay lang ng bigay. I was financing our wedding kaya super higpit lang din ng budget ko while she was "saving" her budget in the future for our future children, our renovation of our home din at other misc for OUR family naman sana. Hindi ako nakapagbigay din ng extra para sa vacation nya with friends, pero sabi ko iprio naman nya sarili nya kahit for this month lang para naman makapag enjoy sya. Take note lang na hindi kami super well off, pero kinakaya naman at alam kong kaya sa future din sa combined salaries namin.

Ngayon I've realized na baka hindi nya kayanin na bumukod talaga, na iprioritize ang family namin. Hindi sya fond of savings and investments kaya gastos sya sa lahat pag may hawak na pera. Bigay kay ganto bigay kay ganun. Pero para sa sarili nya, wala syang budget din. I've been providing for her naman and spoiling her pero gusto ko baguhin yung mindset na kapag kasal, need mag save ng budget for our family mismo and yung priority is OUR family na. To be fair, I make excel sheets to help her budget her finances. I also tried giving a ballpark estimate percentage na most of our savings will be for emergency funds, education fund (of our future children) and savings fund. There were also part of our needs and wants. We even have allocated budget para sa family side namin both, although hindi sobra.

Wala syang masave kasi nga kahit na madami sobra sa salary nya, pero napupunta sa mga miscellaneous sa family nya.

Masama ba akong G2B kung nag waver yung trust ko na kaya nya iprioritize yung magiging family namin in the future? :( nafifeel kong hindi pa sya ready, pero nakapag down na kami sa ibang mga suppliers.