I still think about my first date that didnt go as well as I expected

A bit ago I decided to give dating apps a try since they seemed like my only choice as I’ve never had someone ever approach me in person. I installed Hinge since it seemed decent and i met up with only one person from there.

When we met up I told him he was the first guy I ever went on a date with and he told me not to worry. I was really starting to like him at first since he seemed shy, funny, and sweet.

He told me he was full from eating before and didnt want to get dinner, so he didnt buy me anything except a boba drink. I thought that was normal at the time and I stupidly said i was okay with not eating

Just about 5-10 minutes later he said he wanted to make my first date special so he asked if i wanted to hold hands or if i wanted to sit on his lap. I kept awkwardly laughing (i do this when im stressed) and saying i didnt feel comfortable.

He kept insisting on holding hands so caved in. I felt really guilty for being grossed out by holding hands with him, but I hate being touched by strangers and i wish i had said something. I have never had any romantic experiences so this was honestly overwhelming

I dress alternatively/emo, but he genuinely said he would buy me new clothes as long as i throw away my clothes and dress more normal. He said MANY other things i found weird. He asked if i was into older guys, if i was a virgin, etc.

At the end of the date he asked me if i wanted to kiss him (i said no). He did reach in for a hug and said I smelled nice in the middle of it, which was really the cherry on top after all the things he said. I genuinely wanted to laugh cause it seemed like a scene out of movie

I was so incredibly relieved when the date was over. I have never been so uncomfortable like that and i was so sad since i thought my first date ever would be better. It has made me never want to go on a date again cause im a bit paranoid the same things will happen again

Also a couple days after the date he asked if i wanted to come over to get in his bed and do “fun things”, which was so shocking to me