Cheated on boys bachelorette trip. 27/F 30M.

Me (27) and my boyfriend (30) I know it’s time to move on but can I fix this?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years. when we first met, he was everything I ever dreamed of the first two years was like a honeymoon. I was on that high for a long time. Long story short we always had a perfect relationship, At least that’s what I thought. one year we decided to move out of state so I could finish nursing school because I didn’t want to wait to finish it in my state because every nursing program had a waiting list, when we moved out of state everything was going good. I started school and everything was great about six months in one night he didn’t come home from work he came home around 3 in the morning, to cut the story short I found out he was cheating on me. it was hard because I didn’t have any family living in the state with me at the time, I begged him and ask him to stay with me and not to leave, but he said he didn’t wanna break up with her and that he didn’t want to be with me, keep in mind he only met this girl two weeks ago. I lost my dignity that night after I cried and begged him not stay and he still left… After a week he came back to me, I want him back so bad that I took him back but then he left me again and went back to her. It was a cycle. He did it about three times after that I told him if he ever leave again don’t come back. He ended up staying and I decided to forgive him and move back to my home state with him so we can start new after i finished nursing school. The relationship was hard at first, but eventually we got it together, I ended up experiencing one of the worst thing in my life a couple months ago my mom passed so I’m still grieving and I know stuff might be a little hard but beside that I thought we was okay.

Now last month he went out of the country to go to his bestfriend bachelor party, I was OK with it. I didn’t think nothing of it. The only thing I asked him not to do was cheat on me because I know when a group of guys get together how they can be, one of the night he was there he called me and I know he was drunk and he was like why are you up? It’s 3am in the morning and I said I was waiting for you to get home to text me that you made it home safe. He said yes I just made it back to the Airbnb and I’m waiting on my best friend. He said “we all did something”, We got him two girls so he could sleep with them!! I asked him why did they do that?? Like come on he’s getting married, why didn’t nobody stop him he said well his best friend wanted to … I then asked him if everybody else on the trip was sleeping with random females and he said the other two guys that’s there was bringing home girls. I then asked him did you do anything he said no I would never do anything. I promise, I promise you I would never hurt you like that again

In the back of my head, I felt something off and I went with my gut the next morning I asked him was he sure nothing happened. He assured me that nothing happened. Well when he got home the next day I had to pick him up from the airport, I just had this feeling in my stomach. It’s like I knew, but I didn’t wanna bother him about the same situation over and over, I thought about going through his phone, but I didn’t. That same night i decided to let the whole situation go and we ended up just watching TV and ended up sleeping together. About two days later I had a burning feeling down my lady parts. I immediately went to the urgent care and while I was there, he was at work. I texted him and asked him is he sure have nothing to worry about because I don’t feel good down there he said yes, nothing to worry about. While I was waiting to get tested, I decided to come up with a lie and told him that I had a STD. I know that was a bad idea but something just told me to do it!! sure enough he kept blowing up my phone right away, I told him I couldn’t talk to text me because I was in the doctors office. Long story short it was a yeast infection not a STD.. after that he text me and said he don’t know how that could’ve happened because he used a condom after reading those words My Heart literally fell to my foot because I know I wasnt wrong for feeling the way I did I knew he cheated and he kept lying to my face over and over about the situation. He said he met her at one a nightclub while he was and she came back to the house. Apparently, he only knows her first name and her age, he said that he was drunk!! he said when they got back to the airbnb he got there first and then the girl took an Uber to the house. He said he didn’t have her number or anything, He just showed the girl the address and she took a picture of it and then the girl showed up to the house like 20 minutes later he said after she got there, they went back to the room and they started and she tried to give him oral and as soon as she started oral, he stopped it because it didn’t feel right.

I can’t believe anything this man say anymore his story just don’t make any sense. I told him he had to get out so he packed his bag and went to his mom house and for some crazy reason I wasn’t mad at him for cheating I was mad at him for lying to my face. I think I’m at a point in my life or I’m just checked out I guess I don’t know but I guess I just accepted that all men cheat.

He told me he was sorry but I don’t think he’s sorry I think he’s always sorry that he got caught!!!! after two days of him being at his mom he asked could he come over and have a conversation with me we had that conversation and I told him I forgive him and that we could try to make our relationship work because I don’t want to throw away six years😩

He told me he was sorry again and he won’t do it again just like he said the first time he promised to change and never do anything like this again blah blah blah. I just said okay…. I think I regret letting him come back, I don’t think he will change and I hate I’m settling all because I fear of being alone and starting over… I know need to work on myself worth because I promise you I’m a very attractive woman myself, but he once told me it’s not all about looks!!!! I have my life together beside losing my mom. I am a nurse. I have my own car. I have my own house I just don’t get why I’m doing this to myself

just please send me advice and prayers and sorry for any typos. I was typing too fast and didn’t have time to proofread.