Stupid to ask this here but desperate

Sleep troubles for years. Started taking panadol night a while ago but been gradually increasing how many pills I take at once. Too many to feel comfortable saying exactly how many, and yea I know saying this might invite trouble.. but I imagine that’d be less trouble than what would come from letting myself keep doing something I already know is stupid.

Eventually admitted I needed to see a doc. After trying several prescribed medications, the doc finally gave me something that worked like “magic”. A few months later, that medication disappeared from the market, with no direct substitutes. So I went back to panadol night. Didn’t tell the doc. Stupid yea but couldn’t.

I guess I don’t really know what I’m asking. Probably just telling on myself here, because I wouldn’t tell anyone, not family, not friends, not even the doc (specially since the doc might hesitate to prescribe something that would work because of the risk of substance abuse.

Been there? What did you do that helped?