Life feels fragile

Ever since a combination of difficult experiences surrounding death, I've become really scared of it. In the span of a few years I ODed, was quite badly injured and received 24 stitches after an accident, had my life threatened at knifepoint by my father, and was spiked by a friend. That's the main stuff that caused this fear in me- it just feels like life is so fragile and I'm terrified of how it feels to be helpless mentally or physically. The OD happened first so at first it was every night I'd have awful panic attacks trying to sleep, then I started having panic attacks every time I was injured, and when I finally unrepressed my dad's shit I started having panic attacks when people get behind me or in my space or touch me etc. I sit by myself (because I feel 'safer' by myself) and tremble and wait to die. I'm doing it now cause I'm hungover as shit. I'm tired of being so scared, but it's so hard to explain or heal from when it's not one thing, it's EVERYTHING. I feel like an animal that has 'survive' on loop in my head. Fuck.