My sister has estranged me for over 8 years and my mom still tries to convince me that she still cares about me, but she doesn’t and it hurts like hell.

Growing up (I’m 24F) , especially growing up with a hidden neurodevelopment disorder it was already SO hard to navigate life. I never had friends, always got rejected and even by judge-mental entitled, narcissistic grown a** adults. It was so lonely being rejected and bullied all my life. I used to have a sister who was 3 years younger than me. But she too, decided to reject me.

My sister doesn’t even want to see my face even though we live in under the same roof. When my mother confronts me as to why she ignores me she starts making excuses and when my mom tries to tell her I’ve changed she starts making other excuses. I try to respect all the boundaries she wants, she doesn’t want to see my face or go near me, cool. I’ll respect that, because I still want to connect with her. But she’s been so so so cold and distant that it hurts. It hurts that my own family member abandoned me as well. And I try to make outside friends and meaningful relationships with others but my mother is very skeptical of them.

My mother keeps lying to me that she “still cares” about me, when she clearly doesn’t. She doesn’t want to be in any kind of proximity to me, let alone a pizzeria…. yet my mom still takes me when to road trips and what not when she clearly doesn’t like me. I’m tired of being fed lies. The unfair part is that in ANY minor inconveniences my siblings would face, I would get the blame and be ratted out. I’ve been body shamed for being obese and was compared to a cow. I was told that my birth was a “curse for the family”. I try my best to keep them happy yet I keep being tormented and taken advantage of and getting yelled at, I honestly can’t take it anymore…..