1. (Night before last) It’s my deepest and widest cut, and I was a little worried but was pretty sure I could treat it fine at home.
2. (Night before last)I put a cotton pad on and put some medical tape stuff over and left it on for 24 hours.
3. (Last night) Yeah… it doesn’t look great but I assumed it was just funny-looking because of the blood. Turns out the cotton had gotten completely stuck to the fat and reaaaally hurt trying to get off. I was scared, so I woke up my dad. He had a look and then said I had to show my mom cuz she would know what to do (she’s a veterinary nurse). She tried taking off the cotton but it was really stuck and it hurt and started bleeding again. My parents kept thinking it was skin lol but it was the cotton. Anyway she put some bandage type stuff and taped it around and I went back to bed. They dealt with it surprisingly well.
4. (This morning)
5. (Today) She got some proper cream and plasters. We managed to get more of the cotton off but not all of it. She said she was confused why it was so wide. She thought I might have done 2 cuts and taken off the skin or something lmao, she didn’t think I had gone so deep that it gaped that much. She put it on a few hours ago and the cream was that weird black cream that’s why it looks so strange now.

Anyway, yeah. I was crying the whole time cuz it was like 3am and they didn’t know I had started again. My mom kept saying how she was gonna get the number of someone to get my scars lasered off or wgatever the hell they do, but I don’t want them gone yet :(. A small part of me was glad they knew again because I think I would really benefit from a week at the psych clinic (we’ve heard really good things from friends) and I was supposed to go this week and I’m not yet. And next week we’re going on holiday. I assume my mum thought I was getting better and wouldn’t need to go but the truth is I really want to but don’t know how to just say that.

I do love my parents though, they are really the best people, and I don’t deserve them.

Update from my latest cut