Feeling trapped on Effexor but scared to start a new med

Hi everyone. I’ve been on Effexor for 8 years, it’s taken a huge toll on me. I’ve gained a significant amount of weight very quickly, I feel emotionally numb most of the time, and I’ve lost interest in the things I used to love.

For the past few years, I’ve been on the lowest dose 37.5mg but even that has been hard to get off. I’ve tried tapering twice: the first time I reduced by one bead every 2-3 days, but it completely wrecked me. I was stuck in relentless panic, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t think, it was terrifying. The second time, I tapered more slowly, cutting 10 beads every 4-6 weeks, and it actually seemed manageable for a while. But as soon as the anxiety and panic started creeping back, I panicked and went right back to the full 37.5mg.

I don’t want to be on this medication for the rest of my life. It’s already stolen so much from me, but the idea of switching meds feels terrifying. It’s like I’m gambling with my life it could either ruin me or finally make me feel like myself again.

When I talked to my GP, he suggested alternating days, taking Effexor one day and skipping the next. From what I’ve read that is like the worst tapering method. He also prescribed Lexapro, but the pharmacist flagged a serious interaction with another medication I’m on for my autoimmune. That freaked me out because how did my doctor miss that? It made me even more anxious.

I’ve been trying to see a psychiatrist, but the waitlist is brutal. I did manage to book a phone appointment. On the phone the psychiatrist suggested switching to Prozac. But that worries me too. Prozac sounds like a heavy drug, and I’ve always thought it was mainly for depression, not anxiety. I’ve heard of Prozac horror stories too, but I don’t know what to believe. My main issues are panic disorder and anxiety. I’m terrified of losing control, ending up emotionally numb and gaining even more weight, my worst fears. I just don’t want to get trapped on another medication that’s even harder to get off. It’s exhausting how broken the mental health care system is, I feel like I’m left to figure this out on my own.