Everything hurts.

I lost my mother 3 years ago now, honestly I could say I’m fine a million times and it still hurts. I can’t even tell anyone how I honestly feel because I’d probably get shamed by everyone. Not wanting to exist is such a real feeling that cannot even be explained in simple terms. Depression hurts. Everything hurts. I want my mum back. As a man depression is real and needs to be addressed and talked about more.