My (22M) boyfriend hit my (20F) cat. How do i salvage our relation ship or do I cut my losses?

My boyfriend who I've been dating for 8 months hit my cat. I originally let him adopt the cat. He then moved somewhere that he could not keep the cat so for a while the cat lived with me. Then after the cat lived with me for a while the cat did something that by boyfriend did not like so he hit the animal. I told him that the cat would no longer be his and it would be 100% my animal. I also told him that I do not tolerate animals being harmed in my home and I do not tolerate the person I am in a relationship with harming animals.

Everything went well for a few months after that and he and the cat began to build trust as he did not harm him anymore. How ever my boyfriend would become very upset when the cat wouldn't let him pet him or was stand offish, but never harmed the animal. It even got to the point where the cat would lay with him on the couch on in the bed. Their relationship was healing and I even considered letting him have ownership again if I continued to see improvement and he kept up with the change.

However he admitted to me that recently while he was at my home alone he had been rejected by the cat and had a severe unchecked angry outburst. He ended up hitting the cat in a way that I would describe as undeniably abusive. The cat is not injured physically but it makes me sick thinking about the mental injury she will now have to endure.

I'm considering breaking up with him and the only way that I would be willing to stay with him is if he started treatment on whatever issue this is. Its a liability to me, my family, my animals, and my future offspring. I do not intend on leaving him alone with the cat for anytime soon and I'm also considering not allowing him in my home for the time being.

He has never made me feel unsafe or ever directed his anger at me. He has never harmed any of my other animals.

He does have childhood trauma and grew up in a physically abusive home and that has all sorts of implications and things that he has to work out. I have personally seen him make progress on working some of those issues out.

The only reason I'm not immediately ending my relationship with him is because I really love him and I'm very emotionally invested in our relationship. Other than this one major issue he is very good to me. He makes me feel loved, is teaching me how to love myself, and makes me an overall better person.

Is it worth trying to work though this and see where it goes or is it time let the relationship go?

TL:DR My boyfriend hit my cat because he was upset with the cat. Is treatment even an option worth looking into or is it a waste of time?

Posted Jul 4, 2025, 1:33 AM UTC

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