Chronic Loneliness

I haven't worked much this week, which is a good and bad thing. I didn't get scheduled at any of my jobs because of the week of the 4th affecting things. I get so stir-crazy and feel purposeless when this happens. I really don't know what to do with myself. I watch movies, go on shopping sprees, and treat myself to things I love, but it doesn't always help. Not to mention the fact that I sometimes just need someone by my side to do these things with, but everyone's busy.

I guess what I want is a friend or sibling (two of them are still at home with me) to accompany me sometimes, but they won't come. I miss long talks with my sister and just wish she would join me and do something just because I'm asking, but she always comes up with an excuse. The chronic loneliness that I've been dealing with for the better half of my life just really hit me today.