AITA for wanting an apology?

I've been friends with P since we were 7 - I was the tallest, she was the shortest, I was the geek, she was the "cool one". I was there for her "worst", she was there for me at some point....ish.... She's always been sensitive, and I've learned to "tiptoe" around certain topics to avoid upsetting her - hight, weight, anything that was not about her. Every time she would meet my friends or my two future husbands I had ro do a "run-down" on what not to say (don't mention this, don't talk about that - they all thought it was "interesting"...) Recently, we had a video chat (she was drunk, so was I) where I shared some personal struggles, including a miscarriage . P interrupted me, making it about herself (somehow me saying "I am hurt" means her "hurt" is less important, ignoring what I just said). Later, when she thought the screen froze and I couldn't hear, she called me a "stupid, fucking bitch." I was hurt and told her I needed space. Months later, she claims not to remember the incident. I'm angry and hurt. I love her, but I'm tired of always accommodating her. Am I wrong to expect her to care about my feelings for once? Is it okay to forgive her insensitivity just because she was drunk and can't remember the conversation? Am I the asshole for wanting an apology? (If someone would tell me I hurt them - even if I was so drunk I can't remember - I would ask what happened, what did I say, I would want to know and make it right).

There is so much more to it, but I only have this much space to write. Please help! I can't give up on a 30+ years of friendship just like that, but I also can't ignore the fact she is ignoring the issue.