hate my family and I’m the mistake daughter.

22F college student here. I just cry all the time because my mom and dad are so narcissistic. They always favor my sibling over me, and I’m just the black sheep in this toxic, overly religious family.

I just wanted to study somewhere else, but they said no. But when it was my sibling, of course, they said yes. Ever since I was a kid, I was always the one getting scolded, blamed, and controlled. I have ASD, and when they found out, it’s like they treated me even worse like I was broken. They don’t love me. The only ones who truly did were my late grandfather and my boyfriend, who’s the only one supporting me right now.

I want to work, I want to be independent, but it’s so hard to make them understand. My sibling can buy whatever they want, do whatever they want, but me? I have to survive on my own. What the actual fuck.

My whole family is so obsessed with image. They don’t care what I want. They just want a doctor, lawyer, engineer for status, not because they care. I wish just one non-relative, even just one friend, would help me. Because I’m really struggling in college and no one in my family cares.

I cry all the time. I don’t even know what to do anymore. They keep bringing up how we had a former Chief Justice in the family so fucking what? Our whole family is full of hypocrisy and lies. So many people hate them already because of how toxic they are, but they don’t care as long as their image stays clean.

I just want to cry. Especially when I think about my mom and dad I f*cking hate them. Why am I even alive?