I 30M am missing the the volatile traits of my ex while with my 26F gf. How do I stop longing for my ex?

Hi, I'm probably gonna get flamed for this post and I deserve it but I don't know what to do. I have been dating my GF (we'll call her Leah) for almost two years now. She is incredibly cute and sweet and and treats people with kindness. She's a bit socially awkward in big groups, but my friends do say she is wife material. Leah is really good listening to misunderstandings and communicating about her concerns instead of blowing up. She also takes accountability if I say she did something that I didn't like instead of tryin to justify it.. Despite this, I find her kinda boring, she just too nice and predictable? and I keep comparing internally comparing her to my ex who was very volatile but was a lot of fun.

For example, Leah is crafty and made me and knitted blanket when I was going through a hardtime after a death. She said it was her arms to wrap around me when she couldn't physically do it herself because she's not home. She never stays out late and if she does she always tells me where she is going and with who (I never ask she just does it). She volunteers with kids community theatre and she makes hats for the homeless shelters with her leftover yarn around Christmas time. Like I love how kind she is, but I always know she is going to be kind and helping others and communicating. And I find it too be boring. Which I really shouldn't because she's so kind.

My ex on the other hand, I'll call her Meg we were together for 2 years (almost proposed till it ended) she was very volatile. I never knew if I would be coming home an angry firecracker or a horny sweetheart. She was very outgoing and was a ton of fun in big groups, everyone said she was fun to talk to and hang with. However, she could be very mean and accusative about random stuff. Even through we'd fight the make up sex was always incredible. Every day felt like something new. Even though I dreaded the bad days, the good days were astronomically fun. The other thing that I feel really shitty about is comparing how Meg looked to Leah. Meg was really sexy, she honestly could pass for being in movies and in tv. Leah is very cute but not like celebrity a lister she's short and has the average body. The thing I really feel disgusting in myself about is that I'm a boob guy over an ass guy. Meg had the perfect natural chest perky, large but not huge and a tone of cleavage. Leah she's smaller side, like a B. She's got a large perky butt. And I'm mad at myself for imagining myself being more attracted to her if she had bigger boobs and was more unpredictible. I know this is incredibly shallow of me and I would never say this to her because I know it would hurt her so bad. She's insecure about her breast size, and if i were to say that to her it would kill her self esteem and I never want to hurt her. Shes just so kind that I want to protect her.

I know Im a big piece of shit and shallow. I'm in therapy working through why I feel this way. If anyone has gone through these feeling before, what did you do to stop it. I know if I lose Leah I may never find someone as kind and genuine as her again