I miss you,

I cannot get you out of my head and it is killing me.

I don't expect this to even get to you or that you know how to respond but I just need to get it off my chest.

I can't stop thinking about you, I have various dreams of you where we wind up together and I don't think that is ever possible because life has come in between us so many times before, maybe that is a sign.

But my heart aches at the thought of missing you.

I don't understand the pull you have on me lately but it is there and the thoughts are loud, so loud that I am having a hard time ignoring them.

I wish I could hear you say you don't miss me, that you don't love me. I wish I could hear that you maybe even hate me because maybe I would finally stand a chance at moving on.

But I am here, stuck. Stuck in missing you, stuck in wanting you, stuck in feeling like I am in love with you. Stuck that I will never have you so I will have to keep loving and missing you from afar.

This is arguably cliche but again, I don't even expect you to get this. But at least I can get it all off my chest.

I hope you are doing well, I hope life is being kind to you, honestly I even hope you have found someone that you can love, that loves you in return, the right way. The way that I believe you deserve to be loved, the way I have always wanted to love you.

If I can be honest, I feel like I fell in love with you somewhere in between the texts and video chats and when we first kissed I knew I was in trouble. I fell in love with you and I don't think I ever fell out of love.