why does no one care about me anymore.

no one ever reaches out to me anymore because of how in a shitty of a state i am. the only time they ever fucking cared about me is when i was in the hospital, suffering. why didn't you reach out when I needed you the most? at this point i don't need you anymore if all you care is about how people describe me. its not even just a temporary problem anymore its my whole life. i will have to live the rest of my life with fucking metal in my foot. i'm done. i dont wanna kill myself but id be happy to just die some day.