how did it feel when you first discovered your parents are narcissists

when i first discovered it , it felt like i never meant anything to them i was chasing for their love or praise until i realised i was the only one who got upset when we fought i was the only one who missed them , i realised their caring words were empty their promises were baits and their criticism was not for me but for them to feel better not me , their affection was a performance cause they wouldn't mind sacrificing me for their own image or selfish desires , all i was to them was a tool , a weopon for their dreams of greatness just like a dog , we all like dogs when they're obedient and cute but if they get mad or say no we try to make them be the tool they are , like something you can throw and do with whatever you want , my image for them wasn't about them it was about me and my stupid hope that there was something other my illusion