I need help

This is a throwaway acc but imma still read the comments/advice.

I'm M18, I've just started to take my self improvement seriously as well as NoFap too. I'm four days without masturbating but I've been sneaking porn in and watching it slightly. The urges are insane and my brain keeps trying to come up with excuses to beat.

It feels like hell and my energy is drained, I dont feel the grind anymore and it feels like relapse is inevitable at this point. it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle.

I keep thinking to myself if I can balance porn/masturbation with self improvement and grind and only stop when I'm successful or if I should stop now all together and just grind.

I never thought this journey would be so tough.