**

What is the most Michael Scott thing your employer ever did?

Part 3

For seven years, my supervisor was a lady who had founded a marketing agency. She's in her late 60s and is nearly completely disconnected from the tech business and anyone who doesn't make a million dollars annually. My cubicle was right outside our conference space, and I would hear her do the following things:
She would close every business meeting by "sealing the deal," which involved bringing up on the projector a brief slide show of the most recent vacation her and her family had taken. After her oldest son married, she began sealing the deal with wedding images, followed by photos of her youngest son and grandchildren. It was also an unexpectedly effective strategy. Only one individual ever said, "Why am I looking at these photos?" He ran a construction company.
would display prospective clients the results of personality tests that we would take every six months to determine which function in the company would be ideal for us. She would invariably point out how every test she'd ever taken showed that she's the very worst person to ever be in a managerial role... then she would chuckle and remark, "How crazy is that?"
Pool parties are required once a month during the summer. Nobody would bring trunks, so she'd claim, "I bought trunks for everyone!" "There are no excuses!" We'd have to stay there from midday to 5 p.m., but if we left at 5 p.m., she'd be upset that we weren't having fun, so it was always the same... we'd stick around until about 530-545, and then there'd be about 5-6 of us just starring at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move.
She was saddened when one of her favorite employees resigned. She brought us all out to eat, and we remained for SIX HOURS. She worked from noon until after 6, when she took the majority of the business to the movies and then out for drinks, simply so she could be surrounded by people pretending to appreciate her.
I had to go out on a client meeting by myself; the client was an elite restaurant, and I was conducting a photography there. They gave me a restaurant apron and a shot glass, and they also served me a delicious lunch... I didn't think much of it. Almost 6 months later, during a client meeting with my employer, the customer mentioned getting new aprons made ("they'll be gold instead of tan like the one we give you"), and after they departed, I was reprimanded because I received a gift from the client and did not return it. Then she phoned the customer and discovered the shot glass and lunch, and she summoned me to her office, literally crying, because I had taken those things from her.
Okay, so not everything about Michael is Scottish, but...

I had a job selling furniture. My boss was a tall, lanky character. White salesman with significant cultural gaps. The conversation began when he approached a group of us, looked at the huge black guy (called Rory) in the group, and said, "You know, I've been taking some online college classes, and one of my electives is 'urban American culture.'" According to his definition, it was a study of how black culture evolved from slavery to the diversified population we have today. Rory rolled his eyes, and I could see he was upset. (My manager had a horrible tendency of applying the BS especially thickly.)
I turned to Rory and said, "Come on, let's move some tables. My manager asked, "What's that about Aesop's Fables?"
Before I could finish what I was saying, Rory asked, "What the hell are those?" I rapidly tried to explain that they were short stories with morals, primarily for children, but as I was doing so, my manager gave me a thorough explanation of what they were. "Picture this, Rory. A dog awakens in the wilderness with a large bone in its mouth. He visits a lake with a big bridge spanning it. As he crosses the bridge, he observes another dog below him with a bone in his teeth. He really wanted that bone. When he stopped, the other dog also halted. He gazed down over the bridge, and the other dog looked back at him. He barked in an attempt to scare the other dog away so he could retrieve his bone! But in the process, he lost his own bone and discovered the other dog was only a reflection. That is why you should always be grateful for what you have and not be envious of others.
Rory had drifted off at this point. The poor guy was so perplexed by how we got from moving tables to this lengthy ass story that he simply looked at my manager and said, "What?!"
At this point, my manager said something that I will never forget. "Oh, I realize you don't comprehend, but thanks to my studies, I'll explain it in a way you can understand: Consider this: Little Ray Ray is wandering throughout the streets of New York, holding his favorite chicken wing!..."
My eyes grew large, and I clapped my hands and exclaimed, "Woah!" Good story, but we need to work. "Come on, Rory!" As I draw Rory away from the conversation, my manager asks, "Wait, what are you doing?"
To which I said, "Save your job. "Don't go there, sir." And then walked Rory to the opposite side of the store.

I used to work in a reasonably popular cafeteria. First culinary job. A rather relaxed setting with a close-knit group of coworkers and the occasional 'in the thick of things but doing this' person.
Our employer, one of the partners, used to do some quite bizarre things.
He was rather pedantic, insisting that we name the cafeteria a'refectory'.
Would insist on answering every phone call by yelling 'Ahoy-hoy' out loud.
Frequently left the system at his office running with Facebook hooked in. On multiple occasions, I discovered photos of his wife's gorgeous acquaintances (Windows displays small thumbnails) on his desktop. They frequently stopped by to eat. We'd all use this system.
He would frequently lose it over the simplest of things. He's easily stressed; I've seen him hit meat, dough, bash pots, try to rip out his hair, and stomp up and down the corridor yelling at things, food, and people.
He would frequently get into trouble with others due of his 'outspoken' behavior. The one that stands out is when we were having a slow day at work and this late-40s woman, whom we all know as a pleasant, sensible lady, came in. Boss walks out of the open plan kitchen, saying, 'Whaddaya want, ya bitch?' She is obviously furious and wants to file a complaint with the organization that hosted our cafeteria. We try to calm her down, and the partners later speak with him about his actions.
He made a female resign because he was 'critical' of her music taste. When I say critical, I mean really bad. I walked into work with him that day, and she said she was upset because he had been a little terse.
is prone to harm. Threw his back out dancing at a kid's birthday party, tore his tendon stepping off a pavement, I'm not sure what he did to lose his sense of smell and taste, and incurred a hairline toe fracture by kicking the table with the printer on it, among other unverified ouchfests.
His first foe, the printer, was frequently the source of excruciating screams from his workplace. Then came big thumps on its smug frame. Consider this on a peaceful day, with a few individuals enjoying a nice lunch.
His other 'nemesis' was the health and safety officer. Let us call him Steve. They would engage in progressively passive aggressive discussions, prompting me to hide all sharp things nearby. Everything started with Steve and him debating about whether you could sit in 'temporarily' with a takeaway box. They were perfect for each other.
Before he could drive, his mother drove him around. He yelled at her in front of all of us over a minor driving issue. She was furious, gave him the mother talk, and walked out. His wife had to calm her down from her wrath.

What was yours absurd situation with the stupid neighbors or HOA?

Part 3

A long distance down the street is our "interesting" neighbor. He flies the Confederate battle flag on both sides of his driveway in addition to the VERY political signs on his house. On a tree in his front yard, he has also put up a sign from a nearby tow firm warning anyone parking there that they would be towed.
The crucial point here is that this neighborhood is not part of a homeowners association. He has no right to have someone pulled away from in front of his house because the streets are owned by the city, not the private sector. He has no control over who parks in front of his house, but it's a another matter entirely if someone parks in his driveway.
I would spend a lot of time on my front porch with a bowl of popcorn and a cold drink waiting for the entertainment when he tries to get someone's car carted off if his house were closer to mine (it's approximately 15 houses away and around the corner). Since it's a public street, the tow business will either refuse to let him use it or they will likely take away their sign because he shouldn't have it in the first place. Police will likely be contacted for a stolen automobile if they are crazy enough to tow, or when he tries to get the car yanked and things become heated. He would not benefit from any of those outcomes.
EDIT: The tow company was really interested in this when I called them. The woman I spoke with stated that the tow business would never do this and that they have no idea how he obtained the sign, so he clearly does not have their consent. When I proposed that they get in touch with the businesses they have contracts with to find out who is missing a sign, she chuckled. As soon as the manager gets here on Monday, this will be resolved. ROFL. Being a fly on the wall to listen to that talk would be amazing.

My sister and I were walking to another neighborhood tennis court because ours does not have any. These two little girls were walking across the street, just slightly ahead of us. My sister and I were speedwalking to the tennis courts since you sleep, you lose, right? So we were playing tennis for fifteen minutes when a slim, tiny white woman walked in wearing lululemon shorts and asked, "Do you guys live in this neighborhood?"
I explained that we live in the neighborhood next door. She aggressively remarked to me, "Well, I've been watching you guys walk to play tennis from another neighborhood, and my daughters informed me that you cut in front of them. "Don't you think we deserve to go before you?" I remarked that many other people drive from nearby communities to play because the courts are unlocked. She says, "Look, I don't care where other people come from; when we come here, we deserve to play over you. "We pay the HOA fees for these tennis courts." [IM THINKING BITCH - IF THEY PRIVATE, THEN FUCKIN PUT A LOCK ON IT AND Fuck Off You Crazy Entitled White Bitch]
So I was furious and shocked at how she abruptly interrupted our game, but I swallowed my pride and didn't want to cause a scene because she appeared distressed. We were very upset when we left the courts. Could there have been any racial tension? Fuck that hoe.

Our condo HOA meetings are held once a month via Zoom, and most people would prefer ignore the box on their calendar. However, for me—and a few others who have been paying attention—it has become more akin to live theater. Comedy, horror, and petty politics are all combined into one tumultuous stream.
Karen is in the heart of the show.
Karen works for the property management company with whom our homeowners association contracts. She is not a board member, but she may as well be. She talks over everyone, silences disagreement as if she were moderating a courtroom, and makes poorly veiled threats whenever someone disagrees. "I will not be talked to this way," she snaps every time she is pushed back. It was immediately followed by additional chatting. And more snapping.
She publicly supports the most powerful member of the board, known as the "self-appointed mayor" of the complex. That guy has never met a payback he doesn't like, and Karen, for inexplicable reasons, treats him like royalty. We've all joked that someone is slipping her a bonus beneath the table. Or maybe simply fries from the fast food restaurant down the street—she becomes strangely obsessive when someone brings her food to meetings.
I am not joking. A guy called Rob once made a casual remark about bringing fries to the next meeting to "keep Karen in a good mood." Karen went on a five-minute diatribe about how "misogyny and sarcasm" would not be accepted in her meetings, despite the fact that she does not manage the board.
She's practically the HOA's attack dog in a cardigan.
For a long time, most of us simply tuned it out. However, matters worsened when the board requested an emergency "roof repair assessment" of $5,000 per unit, due in three weeks. That type of money does not just appear in people's accounts, especially without any warning.
Several of us asked questions. Like, where is the reserve fund? Why was this not anticipated? And why was the "repair contract" awarded to the board president's brother-in-law's company?
That's when Karen lost it.
She raged at us, accusing us of "spreading misinformation," "sabotaging the community," and then muted us mid-meeting. This was a public forum, yet she kept homeowners quiet. She told we could "submit questions in writing" but never responded to them.
So I decided that I was done being polite.
I began pulling records. Under state law, homeowners have access to financials, contracts, and meeting minutes. Karen initially refused to respond—"your request is too broad," she argued. So I made a second request, this time copying a legal friend of mine and citing the applicable HOA transparency statutes.
Suddenly, things began to arrive.
And boy, were they messy.
The business engaged to "repair the roofs" was not even licensed in roofing. They were a general handyman business run by—you guessed it—the board president's brother-in-law. No competitive bids were solicited. The contract was signed before the voting ever occurred. Karen had also approved the contract as the "managerial liaison," even though she was not allowed to do so.
Things get better. Karen works for a management company that has hiked their service price three times in the last two years without any board permission. Furthermore, some line items on the monthly expenses were imprecise and overstated, with "consultation services" and "administrative coordination" invoiced at hundreds of dollars per hour.
I informed the other homeowners. Initially, it was quiet. Then, louder.
Over 60 people attended the next Zoom meeting, more than doubling our average attendance. I screenshared documents. People posed questions. Karen went into complete meltdown. "I will not be talked to this way!" she exclaimed, before embarking into a rant about how "no one appreciates the work that goes into managing this community."
The board sought to end the meeting early, but it was too late.
By the end of the week, someone had lodged a formal complaint with the state HOA governing authority. Multiple owners requested a financial audit. Karen's company has been reported to the state's property management licensing board.
Two months later, we had a recall election. Three board members were dismissed, including the "mayor." Karen's management contract was terminated. The new board employed an independent auditor, and guess what? Approximately $80,000 in "miscellaneous administrative fees" could not be explained. Legal action is pending.
Karen has not been seen since.
Our meetings are still a touch monotonous, but they're quiet, respectful, and free of drama. Nobody is threatened with a fine for asking a question.