I want to apologize to someone I hurt years ago, but I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. Any advice?

There was a time in my life when I loved someone deeply. I didn’t know it then — I was just a quiet, awkward guy, raised to focus only on school and “ignore distractions” like relationships. I had no clue what to do with feelings when they became mutual.

We never officially dated, but it was something real. Still, I’d go cold on her out of fear or ego, stop talking suddenly, and never really opened up. One day, we had a fight — and instead of making it right, I just… walked away. I thought it didn’t matter. I told myself, "Focus on your career. You’ll have time for love later."

Turns out, I was lying to myself. I later found out she cried the whole night after we stopped talking. And not long after, she got into a relationship with someone else. I never reached out, and now it’s been years.

After that, I hit a dark place — my exam didn’t go the way I’d hoped, I shut myself in, and I coped by getting addicted to porn and games. It’s only now, after a lot of reflection, that I realize how much guilt I’ve been carrying.

I don’t want to win her back. I don’t even expect anything. But a part of me still wants to say, “I’m sorry.” Just so she knows she wasn’t meaningless, and that I was just a dumb, emotionally clueless kid who didn’t know what love was.

But what if she’s moved on completely? What if hearing from me just brings back pain she buried a long time ago?
Would reaching out be selfish… or is it okay to just apologize even if it's too late for anything else?

Should I try to clear the air and say sorry — or leave the past where it is?