I hate Arbites.

I hate Arbites. I hate them. I hate their potty faces. I hate their clubs. I hate their shields. I hate when the shields are next to the clubs and I hate when the clubs are next to the shields. I hate that Zorin pulls 2280 of them out of his law-abiding asshole and then descends on me like a Genestealer at a poetry convention.

I hate the Arbites strength rating. I hate it because it lies to me. It says I have a 50-50 chance of victory. This is patently false, because I have twenty units of poxwalkers who are held together with syphilis and dark prayer. I do not have four absolute units of six foot tall Dredds constructed out of pectoral muscles and galvanised ceramite slabs.

I hate that they shout LEX at me. LEX is a stream cipher based on the round transformation of AES, which is completely irrelevant to a Battle for Tertium and should not be shouted repeatedly while mauling a rank of tier one groaners like freedom protesters.

I hate their toughness regeneration. I hate that surrounding them simply prompts one of them to pull out a 944.M2 general's helmet so he can make a speech about 'now we can attack in any direction'. I hate that their reaction to a devastating Crusher overhead is to become somewhat peeved. I have looked an Arbites in his smug potty face as an encirclement that would shatter any other Grendyl's infantry closed in.

He went from :[ to >:[ , killed an extra two hundred poxwalkers because I had foolishly allowed all four sides of the Arbites fireteam to fight at once and then swallowed my Scab Captain like a slim jim.

I have resolved to shoot every Arbites dead. Every Arbites. All of the Arbitomen and the Arbitdren too. I hate them. I no longer see battlefields because they're covered by a thick blanket of pox gas. I hate that it barely stops them. I hate that they keep coming while shouting about the stream cipher, or the Leading-Edge Extension or the LEX album of Liverpool Express. I hate that they made me google LEX so I could write down ways in which I hate things that have it as a name. LEX is also a computer program that generates lexical analyzers. It is also a community in West Virginia. The IATA code for Blue Grass Aiport is LEX. I will never go there because it would give me palpitations.

I hate that Zorin is friends with the Trollface Investigator next door, who also declares war once I've shot Zorin unconscious for the tenth time. He also has potfaces only these ones are red. Somehow this is worse.

I hate that there are another ten Imperial factions. I hate that they will be in end game by the time I reach them. I hate that while I was writing this Zorin picked up Rinda and smoked her like a cigar.

I hate Arbites.