How can I get over trauma from something I love?

Long story. I had a rough upbringing. Parents divorced at a young age, and was taken by my abusive mother to live in a different country, with an equally abusive step father. Bullied a lot both at school and at home, where I basically became a shut in. Even when I was old enough to leave, move back to my hone country and start to work, I was still relentlessly bullied at my job with zero help from my boss.

Needing an escape, my brother introduced me to ice hockey. I quickly fell in love of it, and simply ice skating became my “safe space” when mental health or work life got too much, I could always go ice skating and feel better.

I then transitioned to playing Beer League hockey. I excelled at that and was gaining making friends. I was finally happy. Little did I know that the people I was friends with were not only toxic, but down right hated eachother. I filled in for one team in one game as a favor, while playing for another. As a thank you, that team wanted to give me my own jersey. My team took this as jumping ship and sabotaging the team. Even when I explained I wasn’t, they didn’t listen. Things got heated and I was kicked off my team.

In the midst of this, the person I was arguing with is the girlfriend of the owner of the team (another woman) and started spreading false rumors that I am two face and was homophobic to them. Because this person is popular in the rink, many people just believed them, and suddenly all of my friends abandoned me. I even had people tell me to kill myself.

It caused such a mental pain that I reached out to the friend that I helped play for that one time. While talking about how bad it was effecting me, they too turned on my and called me a bad friend and a bad person, even though they had originally told me that if I was down, I can speak to them. All the while, my brother, who also played, didn’t defend me at all and chose to stay away. It forced me to quit.

2 years later, the thought of going to an ice rink now brings back bad memories. My brother continues to ignore what happened. The only time he brought it up, was asking me to come watch him play. But he didn’t bother to tell me that he was playing against my former teammates. When I brought this up, he just ignored it.

How can I get over this? I still love the game and would like to play, but I don’t have any support and the thought of going back knowing most of the people there hate me brings back those traumatic feelings