I need help

I’m currently repeating first year of med school for the third time I spent two years in a public university but after failing I got dismissed then my parents enrolled me in a private university which cost them a lot of money I thought maybe the pressure and anxiety I felt was just because of the first place and that a new start would fix everything but I ended up falling into the exact same loop again I don’t study I don’t attend lectures I’m completely isolated I don’t sleep properly and even when I do I don’t want to wake up anymore I barely go out I stopped talking to friends my personality has changed so much but despite all of that I still can’t imagine leaving medicine I only see myself as a doctor and I loved when strangers asked what I study and I said medicine it made me proud and it made my parents proud too

but now my current grades show that I’ll probably have to repeat first year for the fourth time and I’m terrified of how my parents will react they’ve already done so much for me and paid so much and I know they’ll feel hopeless if they find out I failed again and the hardest part is that I might not be able to continue in medicine at all I’ll have to choose a completely different field but I honestly have no idea what to choose or where to start

I’m sorry this is so long I just had to let it out I don’t have anyone to talk to about it if anyone has been through something like this or has any advice on picking a new path I’d really appreciate it