How do you all find the will to continue?

Somewhat rhetorical, but I welcome genuine answers here. I am not even that severe (can function overall to some extent when not in a crash), but I have taken so many mental and emotional blows in 3.5 years.

I am not even saying a will to keep living, but curious how others still get up everyday and voluntarily go to work and engage in demanding activities, when this has led to so many crashes. I am traumatized from the many times I thought I would drop dead before the end of the workday, that my will to jump back into that routine is almost nothing.

I know this sounds ignorant, as many will say they have no choice (financial need), and I totally agree and understand, but there are days I feel better about dropping to my knees in front of a hospital or psych ward (whoever will take me) rather than keep pushing through crashes and symptoms in a "normal" day to day routine.

Have I just lost my motivation and been paralyzed by fear, or is my situation normal and common after LC beats you down for years?