Partial double dropper tips dedo

Decided to take a drop and dedicate it to crack IAT (failed ofc), took cse in VIT but can't make up my mind for it, constantly feeling like I failed myself and my dream to become a researcher. I'll go for vit but if iiser and iisc allow double droppers then I'll give it a final try. Idk if I'm being immature and just trying to escape my reality but life is not life-ing for me.