Breaking free from a narcissistic marriage.

Been married for 7 years and I have 3 kids. My husband was a covert narcissist. Angel infront of his family and will do anything to have a perfect public image all the while suffocating me and draining my energy and career progress as well as social life. We used to live abroad together but I had to come back. When I did, he started hanging out with some bad crew and started smoking although he was a non smoker. I was pregnant when I came back and had so much responsibility to carry, with my kids and career and pregnancy at the same time. He was off during my maternity leave but took it as a vacation to travel with his siblings, never supported me emotionally. I even had surgery a few days after my delivery and the same night I was crying in pain, he left me to hang out with his cousins and bros. I can never forget the loneliness and heart break I felt. Last time he came for vacation from abroad for a week he spent 90% of his time with his bros and I felt like everytime he comes my nervous system is on fight or flight mode. I never experienced calm and quiet and peace with him, always felt on edge, never safe and at home. The breaking point for me was when his week off was clming to an end, he spent the entire day with his bros and the night before he travelled, he went out with his bro for sheesha and a match instead of spending it with me, and I begged for him to stay. I was so shocked like If I see my wife every few months I'd obviously ligically be with her on the last night. That was mh turning point. I blocked him everywhere, locked the house door and didnt hive a shit about him since then and all the false promises he gave of travelling with me, I was like F it im going to enjoy my life the way I deserve, took my kids to a couple of vacations, went to all my work conferences which used to made him go ballistic, planning girl trips, just being back to my unrestrained happy joyful successful self that he inhibited all these years. Its been a month and its the most peace I've been in my entire life after knoqing him. My mother in law spoke to me by chance and ofcourse when its a narcissist, its always your fault, so hes acting all like I'm the one who did him wrong. I now find him so ugly, unattractive and I feel he is a loser piece of shit that unnecessarily drained my energy. I truly despise him and dont want anything to do with him. I feel like I am so much more attractive than him and he is low key jealous of my success, my personality so he puts me down. I dont know how to proceed with divorce. I am running a household with 3 kids and nannies. Paying 50% of the rent and 2 of the nannies salaries. I also pay a tutor for the kids. He pays the rest and the driver. I know as an emirati it is very difficult to get remaried with this profile but I do hope to find peace and love someday and someone who can accept my kids. This was just a rant. Thank you for reading it till the end.