I feel ugly asf 😭

I have to boymode for two months so I can't like ACTUALLY check my progress... I'm approaching 5 months on E monotherapy, I've had six laser sessions too, I'm looking and I see really really no progress and I feel like a lost cause, so really really down right now.

I look at pictures of myself and just feel like my face is like malformed. Like I feel like I have the biggest chin in the known universe, my brow will never pass, my cheeks look like a Bogdanoff's, the beard shadow still shows and I just don't see any way I will ever pass as a woman like this... I know I'm probably attaching to details and that my perception is off because of dysphoria being the nasty b-tch it is and all... It just hurts and I don't know where to rant about it. Part of me is scared it isn't just dysphoria speaking and I really am messed up for passing. It's horrible 😭

When I girlmode I have to wear a covid mask to have any chance of passing.

I'm so really sorry for the vent I'm just exhausted of this body... So yeah. I'm hoping that others who felt like this got to feel better later on. Thanks for listening I guess :/