Kokichi and Himiko Watch Frozen For The First Time! (Movie Commentary Fanfic)

 "He-eeeey, all you people out there watching!" Kokichi said, pointing finger guns at the camera. "I'm Kokichi!"

 

 "Nyeh...and I'm Himiko," Himiko replied with a sleepy wave.

   "And welcome to another one of our Magic and Lies Movie Commentaries!" Kokichi said. 

   "Yaaaaay..." Himiko cheered halfheartedly. Kokichi stared at her.

   "You don't seem too excited about it," he said, placing his hand on her forehead. "Are you sick, or something?" Himiko sighed.

   "No...I'm grumpy because I want soda."

   "Well, go get a soda, then, dweeb."

   "No, 'cuz if I drink it during the movie, I'll start burping."

 

 "Nee-heehee...yeeeaaahhh. I don't wanna die from your breath," Kokichi joked. Himiko slowly turned her head to him, while Kokichi turned his head the other direction. After a few awkward moments of silence, they burst into a fit of giggles. 

   "Hahaha, that was a lie, Himiko. I was just kidding," Kokichi said, giving her a squeeze.

   "So, you're saying you do wanna die from my breath?" Himiko joked. Kokichi laughed in response.

   "Good one!" he said. "O-kay, so, you guys requested another Disney movie: Frozen! Apparently, it was a big hit in 2013...and the following years. Himiko, have you seen Frozen? "

   "No. I just know about the ice girl...the other girl...and the snowman..." Himiko answered.

 

 "And the Let It Go," Kokichi added.

   "Nyeh...and the Let It Go," Himiko agreed, nodding her head. 

   "Wait, not even your sisters have seen it?" Kokichi asked. "I hear people who have siblings say their younger ones would watch this movie constantly! "

   "Believe it, or not, they haven't even seen it. Nyeh...as far as I'm aware, anyway," Himiko replied.

   "Welp, we're about to see it for the first time!" Kokichi said. "Sooo...buckle up and shut the fuckle up, 'cuz I see an icy adventure ahead of us!"

   "Nyeh...that was so lame," Himiko said, rolling her eyes. Kokichi playfully stuck his tongue out at her.

♥♥♥

   Crowd starts chanting in the background at the beginning of the movie

   "What the hell is this?!" Kokichi said. "Na-na-na-na. Na-na- na-na. Hey, hey, hey. Goodbyeeeee!"

   "They're singing a song for us! Shh!" Himiko shushed.

   "Worst song ever, already," Kokichi said, shaking his head. "I hate it. 0/10. Won't listen to it ever again."

   ♥♥♥

   "YUCK!! Did that kid just eat the carrot after Miu?!" Kokichi cried. Himiko turned to him, puzzled.

   "Nyeh...Miu?"

   "Yeah, did you not see that hideous beast that just ate the carrot right before the kid did?!"

  "Oh, the deer thing?"

   "Yeah...MIU!" Kokichi said. "That's what I'm gonna call it from now on. I'm gonna call it 'Miu.'" Himiko smiled and shook her head.

   Icemen: Watch your step! Let it go!

   "Hey! That's not their song! Why are they saying 'let it go?!'" Kokichi exclaimed. 

   "Because they're letting the ice go!"

   "What's that supposed to mean?"

   "I don't know! I'm just making stuff up!" Himiko said. Kokichi tossed his head back and laughed.

  Icemen: Beware the frozen heart...

   "Beware my stank-ass faaaaarts!" Kokichi said. Himiko burst into laughter.

 

 "Stop!!" she said. "Watch the movie!" Kokichi laughed with her, leaning his head on her shoulder.

   ♥♥♥

   Little Elsa: Go play by yourself!

   "'Go play with yourself!'" Kokichi said, mimicking Elsa. "Haha, then, ginger girl's all like, 'Okay! I'll start right now!'"

   "Oh, no. Not that again," Himiko muttered, burying her face in her hands.

   Little Anna: Do you wanna build a snowman?

   "Hahahaha!! Then, the sister responds...'Do you wanna shut the fuck up?'" Kokichi joked. 

  "Nyeh...honestly, I'd say the same thing if I swore," Himiko admitted. 

   "Hahahaha, awww...Himiko needs her sweepy-sweep," Kokichi cooed, squishing his cheek against hers.

   ♥♥♥

Little Anna: Do the magic! Do the magic!

   "Hahahahaha!!" Kokichi laughed, turning to Himiko, "Then, the big sister holds up her fist and covers it, and she's all like, 'I'm gonna make my fist disappear...RIGHT INTO YOUR FACE!!!' And then she pushes her sister to the ground and starts freaking punching her repeatedly, and all you hear is, PFF!! PFF!! PFF!! PFF!! PFF!! And the punching girl is like, 'BITCH!! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TAKING THE LAST TWINKIE!!' Hahahahahahahaaaa!!!"

   "Nyeh...why are you being so violent right now?" Himiko cried. Kokichi smiled and shrugged.

   "I dunno. Don't siblings beat the crap out of each other? I wouldn't know. I don't have any."

   "Well, I'm not like that with my sisters!" Himiko said. 

   "You've never fought like that before?"

 

 "No!"

"Wow...having siblings sounds boring, then. Glad I didn't have any."

   ♥♥♥

Little Elsa: Hi, I'm Olaf! And I like warm hugs!

   "Ohhh...so the snowman's name is Olaf," Kokichi said, then pointed to the sisters. "Well, what are their names?!"

 

 "Elsa and Anna!! They said each other's names earlier!" Himiko said. "This is why you should pay attention, you butthead!"

  "Okay, well, whatever. I don't like their names, anyway, so I'm gonna change them," Kokichi said. "Ice girl is Gertie, and I guess I'll just call the younger one...Heidi, since she looks like a Heidi," Kokichi said. 

   "Nyeh...I don't like those names."

   "Well, those are their names, now. Deal with it," Kokichi said. 

   "Oh, brother," Himiko sighed. 

   ♥♥♥

   Little Elsa: ANNA!!

   "AAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!" Kokichi laughed when Elsa accidentally struck Anna. "Heidi got knocked the fuggout!! Gertie's all like, 'EAT MY ICE BLAST, BYETCH!!' Hahahahahaaa!!"

   "Is she...dead...?" Himiko asked, frowning. 

   "Pffft! Probably not," Kokichi scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Disney wants us to suffer." Himiko slowly turned to him with a strange smile, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Kokichi smiled back at her.

   "You're so weird, Kokichi."

   ♥♥♥

   Grand Pabbie: You are lucky it wasn't her heart. The heart is not so easily changed. But the head can be persuaded.

   "Sooo...what is he saying? That you can change your mind about something, but if you have your heart set on something, it's hard to change that?" Kokichi said. "Also...I'm pretty sure this is foreshadowing. Heidi is gonna get her heart clapped by Gertie later in the movie. I'm calling it now."

   "Nyeh...don't worry. I've got Pennywise on speed dial," Himiko joked with a playful wink. Kokichi laughed and stroked her cheek. 

   "Awww, thanks, babe!" he said. 

♥♥♥

   King Agnarr: We'll keep her powers hidden from everyone...including Anna.

   "Yeah, cuz none of this is gonna scar her for life," Kokichi said sarcastically. "Why did the troll take away Heidi's memories of Gertie's magic? What the hell is that gonna do? Heidi's gonna learn about her magic again eventually, duh!"

   "Nyeh...what would you do in this situation, Kokichi?" Himiko asked curiously. Kokichi gave her a devious grin. 

   "Nee-heehee...instead of shutting the sisters inside, I'd tell Heidi that Gertie tried to kill her with her magic ice powers," he said. "And Heidi would be so scared of her that she'd stay away from Gertie so that Gertie would have time to practice controlling her powers. Then, Heidi can go find other people to play with. And, when Gertie becomes an ice magic expert, or whatever, I'd tell Heidi that Gertie trying to kill her was just a lie."

   "I can't decide if that's worse than what's really happening, or not," Himiko said. Kokichi shrugged.

   "Hey, at least Heidi would know about Gertie's powers, and they wouldn't be shut out from the rest of the world," he said. "The only problem would be that the sisters would be separated, just like they are, now, but at least Heidi would have friends."

   "Well, what about Gertie? She wouldn't have any," Himiko pointed out.

   "Eh, well, that's what she gets for having ice powers," Kokichi replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Nobody said having magic was easy." He looked at Himiko through his peripheral vision, grinning slyly. Without looking at him, Himiko gave him a quick smack on his chest.

   ♥♥♥

   Little Anna: Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman.

 

  Little Elsa: Go away, Anna.

  Little Anna: Okay, byeeee.

   "Haha! Hahaha!" Kokichi giggled. "She's all like, 'It doesn't have to be a snowman.' 'YOU WANT ANOTHER STREAK IN YOUR HAIR, BITCH?!' 'Okay, shiiiit...' Hahahahaaa!!" 

  "Nyeh, wait, wait," Himiko said. "She's all like, 'It doesn't have to be a-MFF-FFMMM-KMFFF!!!'" Kokichi gave her a strange smile.

   "Huh? Why?"

   "Nyeh...'cuz Gertie started pulling Heidi's lips through the keyhole...'cuz she wants her to shut up...and Heidi's freaking out and banging on the door...'cuz she's trying to pull her lips back...!" Himiko said through her laughter. Kokichi wheezed with laughter as she spoke. 

   "OH, MY GOD!!!" he screamed. He stared shaking his head. "I know this is supposed to be sad, and all...We're not supposed to be laughing!!"

   "And when she pulls her lips back..." Himiko continued, still laughing. "...Her lips are all stretchy and hanging down like an elephant trunk!!" Kokichi fell out of his chair, wheezing with laughter. 

   "THE IMAGE OF IT IN MY MIND IS SO FUNNY!!!" he screamed. "SHE HAS TO LIFT HER LIPS JUST TO TALK TO PEOPLE!!" Himiko's face turned red as she laughed harder. Kokichi pulled himself back into his chair. "Oh...Oh, my God! Phew!!" After a while, he and Himiko calmed down.

   "Okay, back to our serious faces," Himiko said. Kokichi nodded, then took a deep breath.

   "Yup. Serious faces," he agreed. 

♥♥♥

   "Oh, shit!! The ship capsized!!" Kokichi exclaimed, then cupped his hands around his mouth. "Those parents are deeeaaaad!!"

   Anna: Elsa? Please, I know you're in there.

   "You don't know that," Kokichi said. "She could've went to the store."

   "Nyeh...she comes back with groceries and taps Heidi on the shoulder," Himiko added.

 

 "Yeah, and Heidi's all like, 'Oh, shit! Where were you?! I didn't see you leave!'" Kokichi said. "And Gertie's all like, 'WELL, MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SINGING ALL THE DAMN TIME, YOU WOULD HAVE NOTICED!!'"

 

"Nyeh...and Heidi's all like, 'Well, maybe if you weren't so ugly, I would have noticed,'" Himiko said. 

   "Sisters! Am I right?" Kokichi exclaimed. 

♥♥♥

   "What the hell-...HE DID IT AGAIN!!!" Kokichi cried in disgust after watching Kristoff bite a carrot that Sven had in his mouth. "Why is a grown-ass man eating a carrot after it's been in a reindeer's mouth?!"

   "Nyeh...just 'cuz someone's grown, doesn't mean they're sensible," Himiko pointed out.

   "Yeah, no kidding!" Kokichi said, shuddering. "People should know better not to eat something that came outta Miu's mouth!"

   ♥♥♥

  "Monkey Buns, that's you!!" Kokichi exclaimed, pointing excitedly at Anna's bedhead. "That's toootally what you look like when you wake up!"

 

 "Nyeh...it's not that bad," Himiko said. Kokichi began clapping his hands and bouncing in his seat.

 

 "Himiko is Hei-di! Himiko is Hei-di!" he sang.

   ♥♥♥

   Anna: Why have a ballroom with no balls?

  "Too easy," Kokichi and Himiko said in unison, smiling and shaking their heads.

   ♥♥♥

   Anna: What if I meet the one?

  "She wants that diiiick!!" Kokichi said. 

   "Nyeh...that's something she and I have in common," Himiko said. Kokichi turned to her, his mouth agape.

   "WHAT?! " he cried. Himiko giggled. 

   "I just wanted to see your reaction," she said. Kokichi tossed his head back and laughed.

   "I was about to say!" he said, then smiled at her affectionately. "Like boyfriend, like girlfriend! Wanting to see people's reactions to things!"

   "Yes, you've converted me," Himiko said. Kokichi wrapped his arms around her.

   "Eee!" he squealed.

   Anna: I wanna stuff some chocolate in my faaace!

  "I wanna stuff his dick right in my faaaaace!" Kokichi joked, mimicking Anna.

  "Nyeh! Okay, that's enough!" Himiko said. Kokichi laughed in response. 

   ♥♥♥

   "KOKICHI!!! KOKICHI!!!"

   "WHAT?! WHAT?!"

   "DID YOU SEE THEM?! REWIND IT!!!" Himiko screamed. Kokichi rewound a few seconds back. "Nyeh...look on the left side of the screen!" Kokichi's eyes lit up.

   "IT'S RAPUNZEL AND EUGENE FIX-HER-BUTT!!" he exclaimed. "Okay, this is the best part of the movie!! I can't believe I made a cameo in Frozen!"

   "No, you-...Nyeh! You still see yourself as Eugene?!" Himiko asked.

  "Uhh...duh! Only because I am him!" Kokichi said.

   ♥♥♥

   Bishop: Your Majesty. The gloves.

   "Damn, Gertie looks like she's saying in her mind, 'Oooo...I'm 'bouta shut this bishop! ' Get it? 'Cuz, it sounds like 'bitch up?' Like, 'I'm 'bouta shut this bitch up?'"

   "I got it the first time. You didn't have to explain it," Himiko said.

 

  "Well, you didn't react! So I thought you didn't get it!" Kokichi said. 

   "I laughed in my mind," Himiko said.

  "You laughed-" Kokichi interrupted himself with a wheezy laugh and shook his head. "Okay, Himiko."

   ♥♥♥

   "Nyeh...this is so weird. They're sisters, but they're talking as if they're total strangers," Himiko said.

   "Well, yeah, they pretty much are 'cuz they haven't seen each other in, like, forever," Kokichi said. "This is the first time in forever that they're seeing each other. Nee-heehee!"

   "Yeah, but...imagine living in the same house as your sibling and not being able to see or interact with them." Himiko said. "Nyeh...it's just...weird."

   "Welp, that's what happens when you have loser parents," Kokichi said.

   ♥♥♥

   Hans: Glad I caught you.

   Anna: Hans!

   "Nyeh...that's right. He caught you with his 'Hans,'" Himiko joked.

   "AAAA!! Good one, HimiCocoa Bean!" Kokichi said. "I'm proud of you!" Himiko smiled and rolled her eyes.

   "Oh, my gosh," she said.

   ♥♥♥

   Hans: Can I say something crazy?

   Anna: Mhm

   Hans: Will you marry me?

   "Bitch?" Kokichi said.

  Anna: Can I say something even crazier?

  "BITCH?" Kokichi said, sitting up in his chair.

   Anna: Yes!

  "B-BITCH?!" Kokichi stammered, flailing his arms. "Are you kidding me?!"

  "Nyeh..she musta wanted the dick really bad," Himiko said.

   ♥♥♥

   Elsa: Fine. You can't marry a man you just met.

   "Seriously! You don't know that guy! He's probably a psycho, which...the more I think about it, the more I'm sure that's the case!" Kokichi said.

   "You think he's a psycho?" asked Himiko.

 

  "Well, yeah! I mean, he's got red hair!"

   "Heeey! I have red hair!"

   "I rest my case!" Kokichi said. Himiko reached for the top of Kokichi's scarf and pulled it over his mouth. 

   "There. Chew on your checkers and shut up," she said, followed by Kokichi's muffled giggles.

   ♥♥♥

   Anna: Why do you shut me out? Why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of?!

  "Bitch, she's scared of people like you who bring strangers into your castle!" Kokichi exclaimed. "Watch, Himiko! Watch! That guy...Mr. i-wAnT-a-pLaCe-oF-mY-oWn...he's gonna try and take over that kingdom! Watch! Watch what I say!"

   "What if you're wrong?" Himiko asked.

   "Then, you...get to do my chores for a week," Kokichi replied with a cheeky grin.

   "How does that benefit me?! "

   "Nee-heehee...it doesn't!" Kokichi said. Himiko shook her head.

   "Nyeh...and people say I'm the lazy one."

   ♥♥♥

  "Wait, why are they so afraid of her?" Kokichi asked during the scene where Elsa's powers were revealed. "Do you know how badass it would be to have a queen with ice powers?! She could be a one-woman army!! They wouldn't need a military during her reign! Nobody would even bother to attack Iciclia-"

  "Arendelle," Himiko corrected.

  "Umm, no. It's Iciclia, 'cuz I said so," Kokichi said. "But, anyway, nobody would attack Iciclia, and the whole kingdom would be safe, and Gertie would be the best queen ever in...wherever Iciclia is. It has fjords, so I'm guessing Norway."

   "But, what if her powers have a limit?" Himiko asked. "What are her weaknesses?"

   "Yeah, that's a good point," Kokichi admitted. "Well, maybe her emotions are her weakness, 'cuz that troll said that she has to learn to control them and fear is her worst enemy, or whatever."

 

  "So, all she has to do is not be scared," Himiko said.

   "Yeah, Gertie, stop being scared!" Kokichi said. "Grow a pair!"

   "Nyeh...that's her new nickname, 'Grow-A-Pair Gertie,'" Himiko said. 

   "Ooo...I like that," Kokichi said, lightly pinching Himiko's cheek.

   ♥♥♥

  Anna: Elsa's not dangerous.

  "She...She just..." Kokichi stammered. "Do you not see the snow that is falling all around you?! She caused that! She's basically mother nature!! She could literally put all the meteorologists in the world out of business if she wanted to!!"

  Hans: Are you sure you can trust her? I don't want you getting hurt.

  Anna: She's my sister. She would never hurt me.

   "Except she did, like, fifteen, or whatever, years ago, when she blasted you in the face with her ice," Kokichi said. "See, this is why you should never leave the castle, Heidi! You're just too dumb!"

   "Gertie didn't hurt her on purpose, though," Himiko pointed out.

   "She still struck her," Kokichi insisted. "And she's probably gonna do it again, 'cuz Grow-A-Pair Gertie can't control her stinkin' fear."

  "Dang. It must be rough being Grow-A-Pair Gertie," Himiko said.

   ♥♥♥

  Piano music starts

 "Nyeh...it's Kaede," Himiko said.

   "Nah, Kaede can only play classical music, 'cuz she sucks," Kokichi joked. "Oh, wait! Wait! Is the Let It Go?! "

   "I think so," Himiko said.

   ♥♥♥

   Elsa: Let it go! Let it go! Can't hold it back anymore.

   "Ohhh!! There it is!" Kokichi said, grinning widely. "Let it gooo! Let it goooo! Can't hold it back anymooore!" He then lifted his leg and let out a deep fart. 

  "EWW!!! KOKICHI!!!" Himiko screamed. She jammed her finger on the pause button and stood up from her chair. "Go spray!! Right now!!" she cried in annoyance. Giggling mischievously to himself, Kokichi briefly left the room and returned with the air freshener. After spraying, he sat back down and grinned at Himiko. 

   "Are you mad at me?"

   "A little. Now, stop," Himiko muttered, glaring at him. Still giggling, Kokichi leaned his head on Himiko's temple.

   "I'm sowwy, baby," he cooed, kissing her cheek.  "Remember you're still on camera." Himiko sighed and looked straight into it.

   "Boyfriends are a pain sometimes," she said. "There! I said it!" Kokichi laughed and gave her a hug.

♥♥♥

   Elsa: Let it go! Let it go! You'll never see me cry!

  "Except we have, and it was hilarious," Kokichi said.

   ♥♥♥

   Elsa: Let it go! Let it go! And I'll rise like the break of dawn!

  "Ooo, magical girl transformation," Kokichi said, nodding approvingly. "I dig it."

   "Nyeh...that would actually be a cool story," Himiko said. "A magical girl queen with ice powers, and when invaders attack Arendelle-"

   "Iciclia! Hel-lo!" Kokichi interrupted. Himiko sighed and rolled her eyes.

   "When invaders attack 'iCiCliA...' Grow-A-Pair Gertie can transform into her magical girl alter ego," Himiko finished.

   "Niiiice! I love it!" Kokichi replied.

   ♥♥♥

   Kristoff: But people smell better than reindeers. Sven don't you think I'm riiiight?

  "tHaT's sO vErY tRuE, uNlEsS yOuR nAmE's MiU," Kokichi sang over Sven's part.

  Kristoff: You got me. Let's call it a night.

  "HAHAHAHAAAA!! HE AGREED WITH ME!!!" Kokichi said, as he and Himiko burst into laughter.

   ♥♥♥

   Kristoff: Oh, yeah? What's his last name?

  Anna: Of...the...southern Isles.

  Kristoff: What's his favorite food?

  Anna: Sandwiches!

  Kristoff: Best friend's name?

 Anna: Probably John.

  Kristoff: Eye color?

  Anna: Dreamy!

  Kristoff: Foot size?

  Anna: Foot size doesn't matter!

  "Haha, dick joke!" Kokichi laughed. "Also...Heidi is giving me Tenko vibes."

   "Nyeh...that's weird. I was thinking the same thing," Himiko said. "She knew nothing about me when we first met, and she called me her best friend after, like, knowing me for five minutes."

  "Maybe Tenko and Heidi should be best friends," Kokichi said. "They have a lot in common."

  ♥♥♥

  Anna: Get ready to jump, Sven!

  Kristoff: You don't tell him what to do! I do!

 Anna: Hey!

  Kristoff: Jump Sven!

  "Yes! Jump, Miu! You stupid-ass beast of burden!!" Kokichi said dramatically. 

  ♥♥♥

  Olaf: And who's the funky-looking donkey over there?

   "Miu," Kokichi replied.

  Anna: That's Sven.

  Olaf: Uh-huh. And who's the reindeer?

  "Oh! Haha...still Miu!" Kokichi said.

  Anna: ...Sven.

  Olaf: Oh! Okay, that makes things easier for me.

   "The reindeer is Miu! Miu is the reindeer's name!" Kokichi said. "And Yucko is Kristoff's name."

   "Why Yucko?"

   "Because he eats after Miu, just like a yucky person would," Kokichi replied.

 

  "What about Olaf?"

   "Hm? What about him?"

   "Are you gonna give him a different name, too?"

 

 "Oh, yeeeaaahhh. Hmm...I'll call him Angie, 'cuz he's way too happy about everything," Kokichi said. Himiko smiled and rolled her eyes.

   "Nyeh...remembering all these names is gonna be a pain."

   "Not for me! Now, I'm way more excited to watch the rest of the movie!"

♥♥♥

   Kristoff: I'm gonna tell him.

   Anna: Don't you dare!

  "Pffft! I'd tell him," Kokichi said.

   "Nyeh...don't you dare," Himiko replied, smacking Kokichi's chest.

   ♥♥♥

   "Dayuuuum!! Grow-A-Pair Gertie just became Glow-Up Gertie!" Kokichi said, when Anna saw Elsa for the first time in her ice dress. 

   "Nyeh...just wait. She'll revert back to Grow-A-Pair Gertie, probably," Himiko said.

   "Ah, yeah. I do not doubt that!" Kokichi said.

   ♥♥♥

   Anna: We can face this thing together. We change this winter weather. Then everything will be all riiiight!

   Elsa: IIIII CAAAAAAAN'T!!!

   "I KNEW IT!!! SHE ZAPPED HER AGAIN!!!" Kokichi said. "Pfft!! Heidi talkin' about, 'mY sIsTeR wOuLd nEvEr hUrT mE.' GERTIE JUST DID WHAT THE TROLL TOLD HER NOT TO DO!!"

   "Yup. She got struck in the heart," Himiko said, shaking her head. "I wonder what's gonna happen to her now."

   "She's probably gonna die," Kokichi said. "Welp...nice knowin' ya, Heidi!"

  ♥♥♥

Olaf: Hey, do me a favor! Grab my butt!

   "Okay, why do I feel like the real Angie would say something like that?" Kokichi said.

   "Nyeh...for someone who randomly asks for pints of your blood...it doesn't sound too far-fetched," Himiko replied.

   ♥♥♥

   Kristoff: Worry about your hair!

   Anna: What? I just fell off a cliff! You should see your hair!

   Kristoff: No, yours is turning white!

"Yuuuup!! She finna diiieeeee!!!" Kokichi said.

 

 "Or maybe she'll get powers, too," Himiko pointed. Kokichi shook his head.

   "Mmm...nah, this movie's not that cool," he said.

   ♥♥♥

   "Ugh! I stand corrected! That was the worst song, not the 'hey-yu, na-na, hey-yu' song at the beginning!" Kokichi scoffed after Fixer Upper. 

   "I agree," Himiko said, nodding her head. 

♥♥♥

   Grand Pabbie: If not removed, to solid ice will you freeze...forever.

 

 "Nyeh...if it makes her feel better, she'd make a great centerpiece at the dinner table," Himiko said. Kokichi burst into laughter.

 

  Grand Pabbie: ...But, only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart. 

 

 "Oh! What if she has to kiss that guy?!"

   "The psycho redhead?" Kokichi asked. "But, he's bad, remember?"

   "Well, if that's true, where else is Heidi's act of true love gonna come from?"

   "Uhhh, well, I guess Yucko," Kokichi replied with a shrug. "Maybe after tag-teaming with Heidi, he started to have a crush on her."

 

 "Well...okay, I guess that's true," Himiko admitted thoughtfully. 

   ♥♥♥

   "YEAH!! C'MON, GROW-A-PAIR GERTIE!! FIGHT BACK!!" Kokichi cheered. 

   "It is neat that we finally get to see her fight," Himiko said. 

   "Hell, yeah! I also love that her castle's all glowy and golden!"

   Hans: Queen Elsa! Don't be the monster they fear you are!

   "Tch! Forget that! Don't listen to him, Grow-A-Pair Gertie! Go ham! Shove that guy outta there!" Kokichi cheered. Himiko looked at him in surprise.

   "Really? But, she's about to kill that guy," she said.

   "Okay, look, first of all, this is a movie, so it's fine," Kokichi said. "Second of all, don't expect to come up in my house shooting crossbow arrows at me and think your ass isn't getting whupped, okay? Okay!" Himiko laughed and rolled her eyes, leaning her head on Kokichi's shoulder.

   "You're funny, Kokichi."

   "Yeeeaaaahhhh...I know," Kokichi replied, patting her forehead.

♥♥♥

   "Uhh...why is she chained up?" Kokichi asked. 

  "To keep her from going crazy, I guess? Why?" Himiko asked.

   "Well, what I mean is...it's kinda weird that those chains fit her perfectly," Kokichi said. "Were her parents, like, afraid she was gonna go psycho, so they kept those chains there in case she did, or...am I reading to much into this?"

  "I hope you are, 'cuz if what you said is true, that's kinda sad," Himiko said. "Maybe they're for prisoners, or something."

   "Well, if they were, how come those cuffs around Grow-A-Pair Gertie's hands fit her so well?" Kokichi asked. "Why do they even wrap around her hands like that? Usually, they just wrap around your wrist, not your entire hands."

   "The more you talk about it, the more it sounds like you're right," Himiko said. 

   "I bet Grow-A-Pair Gertie's parents were afraid of her," Kokichi said. "Ooo...that would have been veeery interesting to see her run away earlier in the movie because everyone was afraid of her, including her own parents, and she became the villain. I just noticed this movie doesn't even have a villain."

"Yuh-huh! What about that old guy who called Grow-A-Pair Gertie a monster? He told his goons to kill her!" 

   "Yeah, but...I don't count him. I think he wanted Grow-A-Pair Gertie dead because he saw her as a monster, not really for any other reason. Other than that, he's not that much of a threat."

   "Nyeh...well, if it's not him, it's definitely that troll."

   "The troll?"

   "Yeah, he took away Heidi's memories and he's also the reason why their parents decided to separate them," Himiko said.

   "That's not the troll's fault, Himiko, that's the parents' fault," Kokichi corrected. "The troll warned Grow-A-Pair Gertie about the strength of her powers, but her parents did a poor job of handling things."

   "Yeah...I guess that's true," Himiko admitted. "So...the parents are the villains?"

   "I wouldn't say they're the villains, but...they did play a huge part in how the events of this movie turned out," Kokichi said. "I still say that redhead psycho is the villain."

 

 "Well, we'll see," Himiko said.

♥♥♥

   Hans: Oh, Anna...if only there was someone out there who loved you.

   "I TOLD YOU!!!" Kokichi screamed.

  "Heeey! Okay, okay! Don't scream!" Himiko cried, covering her ears. 

   "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Kokichi said, patting Himiko's ears. "But I told you! I knew it! I called it! Get Pennywise on the phone!"

   "I called him already. He said he didn't wanna talk to you 'cuz you scream too much," Himiko grumbled. Kokichi chuckled and hugged Himiko.

   "I'm sorry I screamed in your ear, HimiCocoa Bean," he said. "Do you forgive me?"

   "Well...okay," Himiko replied. "Holding a grudge is too much of a pain, anyway."

♥♥♥

Hans: At least we got to say our marriage vows...before she died in my arms.

   "Wow...this guy makes me look honest," Kokichi said. 

   "Nyeh...trust me...he does not," Himiko said. Kokichi turned to her with raised eyebrows.

   "Are you saying I'm a better liar than him?!"

 

 "Uhh...yeah," Himiko replied. Kokichi put his hand to his chest.

   "Himiko!" he gasped. "That is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!!" He threw his arms around Himiko. "WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! YOU MUST LOVE ME SO MU-U-UUUCH!!!" 

   "Nyeeeeh...I'd love you more if I could breathe..." Himiko strained. Kokichi released her.

   "Whoopsie! My bad!" Kokichi said, then gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.

♥♥♥

Kristoff: I don't understand you when you talk like that.

   "It's okay, Yucko. When Miu speaks, nobody understands," Kokichi said.

   "Real Miu, or reindeer Miu?"

   "Pfft! Both! "

   "Yucko can understand him."

   "Yucko's a freak! He eats after Miu! He's a freak! "

   "Okay! Okay! I get it. Geez."

♥♥♥

Anna: I don't even know what love is.

   "Yeah, that's what your sister was trying to tell you earlier, Heidi! You don't know shit!" Kokichi said. 

   Olaf: Love is....

   "I swear, if this snowman says something about Atua, I'm gonna lose it," Kokichi joked. 

   Olaf: Putting someone else's needs before yours, like, you know, how Kristoff brought you back here to Hans and left you forever.

   "Tch...I'm pretty sure love is more than just that, Angie," Kokichi said. "What about people who have jobs but have to deal with crappy customers? You know, those employees probably wanna punch the crap out of those people, but they don't because they're putting the customers' needs over their own, and it's not because they love the customers, pal!"

   "Well, that's different 'cuz the employees don't have a choice if they wanna keep that job," Himiko pointed out. 

   "True, true! You're right, Himiko," Kokichi said. "But, still, Angie is putting dumb ideas in Heidi's head. Yucko was just being a good guy! He doesn't lOvE Heidi! He spent only two days, or whatever, with her!"

   "Nyeh...do you still like them together?" asked Himiko. Kokichi sighed.

 

 "Yeah, yeah...they're alright."

   ♥♥♥

   Olaf: Some people are worth melting for.

   "Pffft! Yeah, no kidding!" Kokichi scoffed. "I got squashed for other people!" Himiko frowned at him.

   "Whaaaa...?"

   "Eh...it's just this dream I had one time where, like...we were in this weird death game and I got poisoned and I sacrificed myself by being crushed under a hydraulic press," Kokichi said, waving his hand dismissively. "I woke up right before I could get completely squished, though."

   "Why would you have a dream like that?! " Himiko breathed. "Did you eat something weird before you went to sleep that night?" Kokichi shrugged. 

   "I dunno...It happened a while ago," he said. 

   "Oh...well...thank you for your sacrifice, I guess," Himiko said. Kokichi grinned at her and patted her shoulder.

   "You are very welcome, Monkey Buns!"

♥♥♥

   Kristoff: SVEN!

   "DID MIU DROWN?!" Kokichi gasped, his eyes lit with excitement.

   Sven pops out of the water

   "NOOOOOOOO!!!" Kokichi screamed, throwing his hands to his head.

   ♥♥♥

   "Oh, shit! He's gonna kill her," Kokichi said as Hans raised his sword above Elsa.

  Anna: NO!!

   "NYEH!! HURRY UP AND TURN TO ICE!!!" Himiko screamed, covering her eyes. Her scream startled Kokichi, who burst into laughter. As Anna froze completely to ice, however, they became silent. 

   "Shit..." Kokichi breathed, grinning. "That was intense."

   ♥♥♥

   Elsa: You sacrificed yourself for me?

   Anna: I love you.

   "Awww! That was the act of true love!" Himiko said.

   "BOOOOO!!! SISTERS DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER!!" Kokichi jeered, waving a thumbs down. "WHERE'S THE FIGHTING?! WHERE'S THE HAIR-PULLING AND THE FACE-PUNCHING?!"

   Elsa: Love will thaw. Love. Of course!

   Anna: Elsa?

  Elsa: Love!

   "WHAT?!" Kokichi exclaimed. "How?!"

   "Nyeh...'cuz love will thaw a frozen heart," Himiko said. "Heidi's heart was frozen literally, but Grow-A-Pair Gertie's was frozen figuratively. And now that it's been thawed by Heidi's love, she was able to bring back summer."

   "Tch! Whatever! She had a dumb heart," Kokichi said. "She can build an ice castle, but, ohhhh she needs lOvE to thaw everything! Gertie, you piss me off!" Himiko giggled.

  "Geez, it's not that serious," she said. 

 

 "You're right. It's not serious. It's serious...ly dumb! " Kokichi muttered.

♥♥♥

   "O-kay, guys! That was Frozen! " Kokichi said. "Heidi punched the redhead psycho in the face, Gertie helped Angie live longer, Heidi and Yucko became boyfriend and girlfriend, Miu keeps trying to eat Angie's nose, and Gertie created an ice skating rink for everyone. Whoop-de-doo. What did you think about the movie, Himiko? Do you think it deserved all that praise it got a while ago?"

   "Nyeeeh...well, no, not really," Himiko said. "As someone who has sisters, I wish we would have seen Gertie and Heidi interact more with each other. I kinda wish the story was different. I do like how they cared a lot about each other, though."

   "Nee-heehee...I wanted to see Gertie blast Heidi in the face some more with her ice!" Kokichi said. Himiko shook her head.

   "I'll keep talking 'cuz someone has to and it shouldn't be you," she said. Kokichi burst into laughter. "Nyeh...I liked the songs, but, they were just okay to me." Kokichi raised his eyebrows.

   "Really?! Even the world renowned Let It Go was just okay to you?!" 

 

 "Yeah," Himiko nodded. "I liked her magical girl transformation near the end, but...other than that, it was okay. The one who does her voice has a pretty singing voice. Did you have a favorite song, Kokichi?"

   "Yeah, I liked Do You Wanna Build A Snowman? " Kokichi replied. Himiko frowned at him.

   "...Whyyyy...?"

   "Nee-heehee...'cuz her sister was ignoring her," Kokichi giggled. Himiko sighed.

   "Overall, I'll give the movie an eight out of ten," she continued. "The characters were okay. I like Gertie's magic, but there wasn't enough of it. The songs were okay. The story was okay. Everything was just okay."

   "Hmmm...I'll give it a seven out of ten," Kokichi said. "Wait! Actually, I'll bump it up to seven point five for my cameo appearance." Himiko smiled and rolled her eyes. 

   "Dweeb," she said. "Well, that's all the time we have, and I'm ready for a soda."

   "Yup!" Kokichi said, chuckling. "And, if you guys enjoyed the video, give that like button some sweet, sweet lovin,' subscribe for more videos from us if you're into two dweebs playing video games and watching movies, and let us know what movie you want us to see next! Himiko, will you do the honors?"

  "Nyeh...until next time, Kokichi and I will disappear!" Himiko announced grandly. She clapped her hands twice and smoke appeared. As it cleared up, Kokichi and Himiko were now gone, ending the video.