unintentional social isolation

i was raised only going to school (lasted from 1pm to 5pm) then back home and i even then i never had that many true friends, more like i had people who i thought were my friends but just tolerated me. i also couldn't go to my friends house or play in my neighbourhood bc my mom either was too busy to take me or didnt think it was safe. then covid came and i was legit isolated from people my age for about two years. at the time i thought it would be better when things became normal again but honestly it was worse, since i went to one elementary school and all my friends went to another, so i was completly alone. eventually i made some friends but by that time i went to another school for high school. currently i have some friends (not like people i could open up to, more like people i chill with) and things are slightly better. but it always feels like im behind them socially. they all have best friends they trust, everyone here knows each other and im always at the side listening because i dont have the same childhood they had. i dont blame my mom bc she was doing her best but it actually sucks, because its an never ending cycle of being weird bc i dont have the experience and friendship mist teens have but not getting to have these things because im weird. it's kind of unimportant in my life since i can live on my own most times but it bothers me so much, i just wish i had even one best friend that i could go to when things are too much. i miss intimacy i never had. (also sorry if the writing its weird, english its no my first language)