I love my boyfriend’s culture, but I don’t feel accepted. Why the cold stares and mean-girl energy at these events?

I’m sharing this from a place of reflection and genuine curiosity, not criticism or judgment. I want to be very clear: this isn’t about race, but more about cultural dynamics I’ve experienced. I’m a white woman in a long-term relationship with an Arab man (we live in Canada, and we are late-30s). I have so much love and respect for Arab culture: the music, the language, the passion, the close-knit community. We attend a lot of events and parties because he’s a DJ, and I’m always proud to support him.

That said, I’ve found myself in a tough spot socially at many of these gatherings. I’m always the only white person there, and I’ve often felt very out of place, not because of the cultural differences, but because of how I’m treated by some of the women. Nearly every time, I’ve received cold or judgmental looks, and sometimes even laughter and side-eyes directed at me. A few have even blatantly flirted with my boyfriend in front of me. I’ve attended countless events over the past two years, and only a small handful of women have ever been warm or welcoming.

To be clear, these are not religious events , these are nightclub settings/holiday parties , and the women attending are not wearing hijabs or dressing conservatively.

So it’s not a case of me standing out because of how I’m dressed. We’re all in the same environment, yet I still feel this clear sense of exclusion.

This experience has made me wonder: is this kind of behavior more about cultural norms, or is it something broader, like social competition or the way women sometimes treat each other ? I’m trying not to take it personally, but it’s hard not to feel judged or dismissed.

To be clear, I don’t expect to be treated like a guest of honor or anything like that, but I don’t understand the hostility. I don’t expect special treatment, just basic friendliness. And if the roles were reversed and I were in someone else’s country or community, I feel like I’d go out of my way to show kindness and respect. If people from outside my culture were attending an event in my community, I would feel proud to represent it with warmth and inclusivity, and make sure everyone felt genuinely welcomed.

I’m not here to generalize or place blame , this is just my personal experience and I really just want to open up a respectful dialogue and better understand the dynamic. Is this something others have experienced too? Is it cultural? Gender-based? A bit of both? I’m genuinely open to learning and hearing other perspectives.