I dream of slapping Susan Meyer with an iron-clad fist

Im watching the series for the first time and this is my first reddit post ever but I just have to have a platform to vent (none of my friends have ever seen the series and hate-reading about Susan on Reddit just doesn’t cut it anymore).

Jesus almighty, I hate this character.

I have seen MANY shows of various genres with notable characters that are commonly hated by the audience but I have never EVER felt like this before. I can bare cringe, injustice, being a bitch and all of that. God knows I have survived 13 seasons of greys anatomy without sedation. This is just some new level of feeling I am yet to be able to describe. I have never despised a character on every single level. At this point even her face makes me want to pour boiling water over my eyes just to never see her again. In the 13 years of my watching series, countless hours spent on the couch submerged deep in the stories, I couldn’t have predicted that in the 26th year on this god forsaken earth I will be presented with such an atrocious monstrosity of a character. It’s just ridiculous. I can’t believe that a faux person that I willingly observe in my free time can make me physically angry and force me to TAKE TO THE NATURE (that’s right, I had to take a walk to calm down) in order to digest whatever fuckery I have just witnessed on screen.

Susan Meyer is the amalgamate of evil. She is the satan herself. Not a single second of her story was she made to be likable. At the very beginning, I feel like I just didn’t know and wanted to give the writers the benefit of the doubt — surely no one would like to torture their audience with a character that would never have an arc. Or maybe a glimmer of being likable. Or sympathetic. But Susan, no.

Susan Meyer is an unapologetic entitled whiny klutz of a woman that would sooner die than take an OUNCE of responsibility for herself. A helpless victim of the cruel fate that in reality is the most egotistic self-serving child in adult suit. Narcissus reborn. The writers introduced her very well — the fact that she can’t even make MAC AND CHEESE properly for her friends wake is the perfect analogy for every single other situation that the writers have put her in. What is absolutely infuriating is that they want me to perceive it as cute. She’s just a girl… Only if the girl were a spoiled toddler terrorizing every person that has the misfortune of being in her presence. I really have no idea how anybody with a working frontal lobe (or even half a brain to be fair) find this character likable. Her audacity… My gosh. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it.

Treating Julie like her emotional crutch. Burning down Edie’s house. Her messing with Zack’s return. Her affair with her Ex husband. Cheating on Mike while he was in a coma. Leaving Ian. Those are only few examples that sprung in my mind, but feel free to remind me in the comments your favourite ones. Today though, I unexpectedly reached my breaking point with her, as I watched the s3 episode when her and Mike get engaged again and she throws a fit at Gabby’s house when she finds out she booked most of her caterers for the wedding. When she threw that centerpiece and ripped up the invitation I swear I was inches away from throwing my remote at the tv. I really cannot witness any more of the tantrums she throws. Supernanny should be on her way, but is nowhere to be seen.

I love all the other characters so much. I love their atrocities, their scheming, their drama. I have so much fun witnessing all the new ways the writers want to distort the archetype of the suburbia. I love the aesthetic. I love the dialogues. But man, I do wonder if it’s good for me to get so riled up whenever that witch appears on the screen. I do have real things in my life to worry about and I certainly don’t need more stress than I already deal with.

As I have mentioned, I am (or was?) currently watching season 3. I do not know what happens next but from what I have already managed to spoil for myself by reading some of the Reddit threads, it doesn’t get any better with her. I don’t mind spoilers btw so feel free to comment whatever.

P.S I must sound unhinged, but you have to take my word that I really am a regular girl with a real life and real problems. I watch shows mostly while walking the treadmill or on the very rare occasion when I have some time in the evening. I just wanted to underline that neither Desperate Housewives nor any other series is taking up enough time for me to obsess over it. And yet, Susan Meyer has achieved what no other fictional character could. I had to get it off my chest.