ten million dollars

I don't know if you will reach out to me to make amends, I have a hard time believing your pride would ever allow it. If by some miracle you decide to take initiative and apologize for your behaviour unprompted, then I will accept any honest words you have to share. I will also take responsibility for my fair share of the nuclear fallout. I do think it was inevitable to a certain degree because of how deep my feelings were for you.

I know that I was obsessive and crossed your boundaries multiple times over. You called me manipulative and I do have to agree with you there but one thing I know for certain is that my love for you was always earnest and sincere. You on the other hand offered me everything I could have ever wanted only to take it away piece by piece to see exactly how small I was willing to make myself to fit into your sad life. And every sacrifice I made only fuelled your disgust and hatred. You completely looked past me and simply saw every woman who had ever hurt you in the past and this was your long awaited opportunity for revenge.

In the extremely unlikely event that you want to start over from scratch and be a part of my life again, I have determined that I will need ten million dollars, upfront and in cash. That is the price I am setting to regain my trust. In an ideal world, I would ask you to delete everything you're holding against me but I have no actual way of confirming that to be true. Money doesn't lie and if you're intent on destroying my life anytime you're upset with me, then I think that's enough capital so I can facilitate my exit in preparation for your next tantrum.

If my calculations were correct, that was everything you were worth when I met you and you have everything I was worth when I met you so I'd call that an equivalent exchange. That ridiculous amount is also a deterrent for myself against foolishly letting you back into my heart because I know you will never look at me the same now that I've lost your respect. And taking you back will only confirm that I have no self respect and dignity.

The saddest part is that if you were pathetic and desperate enough to buy my trust back, I honestly would agree to those terms. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't. I can manage being single for the rest of my life but the idea of ever giving myself to someone the way I gave myself to you makes me sick to my stomach. Taken advantage of for being too naive and gullible to believe a man could ever love me.

And even if I did fall in love with someone new, how could I ever live now that I know how cruel of a human being you are? You wouldn't ever allow me to be happy with someone else so at least let me be happy alone. I am carving my own path and it might be a lonely one but I am free and that is more than enough for me. I will be pouring all my delusional energy into getting the sweetest revenge there is, becoming a cold heartless bitch just like you and doing it even better because that's what I do best.