Fuzzy-headed and strangely emotional lately.

I'm a married father, and I'll be 41 next month. Diagnosed with GAD and panic attacks in my early 30s and I've been medicated and fine ever since. Only major medical event was bariatric surgery earlier this year and I'm about to celebrate my 100 pound milestone, so proud of that.

I've been strangely emotional the last few days. It started during the 4th of July. Obviously American is in a bad place right now. I'm far from proud of our nation right now and instead of going to fireworks I watched "Independence Day" with my wife and daughter. I've seen the movie probably 10 times in my life, it's a classic and I love it. But for some reason I kept having to hold back tears throughout the entire movie. It just put me so emotionally on edge. I fought tears throughout the entire film. At some point towards the end, I realized I wasn't feeling right. My head was fuzzy, I was tired.. I attributed it to fighting tears throughout the film. When I got to bed, I realized my tinnitus was cranked up to 11. I've had it since I was a teen so it's nothing new, but laying in the dark silence it felt overwhelming. Took me a while to fall asleep, but once I was out I slept like a log. Met my mom and stepdad for lunch yesterday, still felt fuzzy but nothing I couldn't handle. Made it through a lazy Saturday. Picked up a comic trade I've been meaning to read ("DCeased", basically a DC superheroes zombie apocalypse storyline) and again found myself fighting tears the whole time. A fucking comic book was making me almost cry. Went to bed last night and again, tinnitus overwhelming me. Laid down around midnight and even took a sleeping pill. Was awake well past 2:45am last I looked at my phone. Eventually conked out, woke up after noon. Wife said she thought I needed it. Now it's Sunday.. the remnants of a tropical storm are rolling by, we're hunkered down at the house.. same mental state and delicate emotions.

What the hell is happening with me? Should I be concerned? I'm supposed to be the family's rock and the world feels like it's crumbling down around me. Is that what's going on? Am I holding too much back? Do I let it all out and cry and see if that will help?

I mean, so many people have it worse than me but I feel like something is always wrong. Finances, something breaking down at the house or with our cars, some late bill or a desperate need for groceries we can't afford.. Then all the shit going on with the nation and this feeling of being helpless. But I'm used to all that. I'm numb to it. That's just my reality. Have I let it erode my defenses for too long and I can't hold back the flood anymore?

If you made it this far, thanks for your time. I don't know what I expect anymore to do, but I'll take any advice people can throw at me.