Green Eyed Love!

My Green Eyed Lover,

This is the most important thing I’ve ever written. No filters. No bravado. Just truth, from the heart. A letter not from a man trying to win something, but from a man who already found everything when he found you.

When we first truly connected, not as friends, but as two aching hearts seeking quiet in a loud world it felt small at first. A moment. A snuggle. Just comfort between friends. But it wasn’t small. It was everything. Those green eyes saw my soul that night and my blue eyes saw your soul that night! I didn’t know it then, but the moment you leaned into me, fully clothed, fully human, fully you! You rewrote what peace meant to me. I had been through chaos, betrayal, false starts, and endings that pretended to be beginnings. But that night, with your breath near mine and your body gently pressed to my chest, my soul sighed for the first time in years. Also just to be 100% honest what happened the next morning, truly was an accident! I remember thinking, oh my god I just?? You know the rest of the story, so I will leave it at that!

We weren’t thinking of falling in love. We were healing. But in healing, we uncovered something purer than either of us expected, something rare. We didn’t choose it. It chose us and it was love! This is not completely true, when I left your house that morning, yes! I was in love with you!

Loving you has been the most real thing I’ve ever done. I had no idea unconditional love was something that could exist in my world, until you showed me. You showed me what unconditional love felt and looked like. You didn’t just love me, you saw me. And in return, I gave you the best love I knew how. I saw you and my god are you beautiful! I have never seen such Beaty, on the inside and absolutely the outside! I loved you unconditionally and without expectation, but I now see that even the deepest love can’t thrive without healing. And it wasn’t the love that failed, it was the unhealed parts of me that I hadn’t yet faced. That’s on me and I will forever be sorry for that!

Please hear this: I heard you. Every word you said. Every truth you offered, even the hard ones. And I didn’t let them pass. For the past four and a half months, I’ve been showing up twice a week, sitting with the mirror, letting my therapist walk with me through the wreckage and the reasons, the fears and the scars. I’m not doing this for a second chance. I’m doing it because you were the mirror that made me realize I had to change because I want to love the right way and I wanted to love you the right way! And because all I want, is for you to be proud to love me back.

You are not just any woman. You are the first woman I have ever truly, undeniably, and wholeheartedly loved. Not in a “forever sounds good” kind of way. But in the way that makes me certain! Certain that I will marry you someday, if you allow me the honor? That if I die before you, my soul will stay with you, quietly holding your hand as you sleep. Because my love doesn’t end at death. It doesn’t even end at failure. It only deepens. It only begins again.

I promise on everything that matters to me, that if you choose to hand me your heart one more time, I will hold it like we both know it deserves to be held! With kindness, softness, with certainty and with love! You will never hear my voice raised in anger, ever. Not once. The only thing that will separate me from you again will be my final breath. And even then, my love stays.

I want the life we almost had and so much more! With all seven of our children! With all the messy, imperfect, magical moments that come with blending souls and stories. To me, this is the perfect love. A perfect love, we both deserve! I want our love, unconditional love from both sides! I want the hard days, the belly laughs, the quiet mornings, the coffee in bed, the hand squeezes in the car, the hold you as you fall asleep, the forgiveness when we’re tired, the honesty when we’re scared, the deep knowing that we are no longer alone in this life.

This is not just my truth. This is me and you and it’s our truth. This is a chance to start new, with the communication we both desire and the love we both want. For you. God, for us. To what I know is the greatest love story ever told not because it’s flawless, but because it is absolutely real. And real love? It deserves to be fought for, it deserves to never be given up on, so it can rise. And sometimes, it deserves a second or third chance.

So here I am. All in. 100%. No armor, no ego, no games. Just me, healed and healing, loving and ready to be loved!

If even a piece of your heart still remembers what we felt, I’m here. I am already home. All that’s missing is you, my true love.

Forever and Always

Forever and Always Your Blue Eyed Love