How to handle long distance MIL?

My husband’s parents live in a different country. So far, our dynamic is that we both make the trip to visit each other in our respective homes once a year. So, two family visits per year. With each visit around one month long. We always pay for their travels.

I don’t mind visiting his family so much, but I get extremely nervous about when his family visits us because of his MIL.

She is extremely “polite” but makes it clear through extremely subtle mean-girl-coded cues that she’s still “not convinced” by me (her exact words) even after three years of my husband and I’s marriage.

I know she subconsciously blames me from taking her son away from her country, and she can’t help but let that resentment seep out in passive aggressive comments.

Despite that, my husband adores her and misses her terribly. Since she is retired, he wants her to be able to visit at least once every year for 3 weeks to one month at a time. Alone. Or with his sister, is she can. His dad has to work.

My Husband also acts differently when she’s around (he acknowledges this). This causes so much stress between us, not only during the time she’s here, but the weeks leading up to his visit and afterwards.

I get severe anxiety over his family because every experience I’ve had with his mom makes me literally go into a stress induced psychosis.

We end up having intense arguments and I leave every discussion feeling like he’ll never understand my point of view, and that my only option is to grin and bear it.

It always boils down to this:

His argument: “I’ve made such a huge sacrifice leaving my family for you. We live in your city, near your family, so, I deserve at least one month of family time in my home without complaint.”

Mine: “That would be totally fine if your mom treated me nicely, but since she’s kind of mean to me, and you tend to forget about me when she’s here, I don’t want her to come.”

I feel guilty saying he can’t have his mom come but also I genuinely don’t know how to deal with the levels of anxiety that this arouses within me.

Anyone else deal with this? Am I being too much? His family is literally our biggest issue. Help.