Where Do You Go When Nowhere Feels Safe?

Hey guys, I just realised something weird. Ever since my breakup which was in june 2024, I am just constantly scared of hanging out with people in unfamiliar situations. I am hyper alert around everyone in my life. I can go to a cafe and meet a group of people, but meeting someone alone I feel scared the entire time. I can’t be alone with anyone except my parents and siblings. Not even female friends. Unpredictable social situations make my heart beat faster and I feel it sinking or some sort of suffocation. I have certain thoughts that I keep thinking. One of them is will I genuinely ever feel at home or trust another person like I trusted my ex. It makes me cry instantly. Another thought is everyone knows how I had once allowed a guy to make a fool out of my parents and I. One thought is that if I genuinely put so much effort and heart into something, prayed with all my heart, corrected course multiple times, tried everything I could, and it still blew up in my face so massively then what’s to say that everything I will ever do will amount to something. What is there to dream and chase. I fucking hurt so bad and I am trying everything I can. At this point I just keep praying for this to end or just to be taken away and I don’t mind either. I want familiarity and safety more than anything or just rest.